Tuesday, December 11, 2007

7 Things that are a day late

Wait a minute, its Tuesday, usually I get this list out on Monday. I'm really slacking if the only regular column on my site doesn't even get out. No wonder only 3 people stop by here.

So without further ado, lets get to 7 things that I've learned.

1 - Don't Fuck with the Brady/Thomlinson combo

In all 4 of the Fantasy leagues that I'm in somebody has the combo of Brady and LT. Every single one of those owners is in the playoffs and all but 1 is the #1 seed (and he just traded for LT two weeks ago). Fortunately for me I have this combo in 1 league, unfortunately it isn't a league with any money on the line.

So what have we learned, the theory of drafting 2 RB's before a QB has screwed 90% of fantasy football players this year. Anyone who took a RB in round 1 not named LT, Westbrook or Addai should be cursing the football gods right now.

The age old theory that their are only 32 starting runnning backs and you need 3 of them to win has been blown out of the water this season. What does this mean for next year? Probaly nothing, but it will lead to more consternation leading up to the draft.

2 - Brady Knee Watch

Yet another week where Brady has skated by injury free, I'm begining to loose faith in NFL players. This week Brady plays the JETS. So there is no-one capable of taking out Tom this week. This Item exists purely for filler this week.

3 - Guaranting a win is Bush league

What a surprise, the media found some young kid on the Steelers to guarantee a win and then rode the story into the ground. Honestly, if I were an NFL player I'd just tell the media to fuck-off, since all they are looking to do is make the average player look like an idiot. Than again, they always seem to find some idiot to oblige them and open their mouths.

Look NFL players, if you want to Guarentee something, pick one of the below items for the next time, It may not get the same headlines, but it also won't get you imasculated by Tom Brady on national TV:

I guarantee that Stuart Scott's lazy eye is the result of a gay porn related injury.

I guarantee that I would last more than a minute with Jessica Alba in the sack.

I guarantee that eating green M&M's doesn't do anything for you in the bedroom or on the playing field.

I guarantee that Ed Hockulea isn't getting the same random tests that the players are.

I guarantee that Deion Sanders is color blind, cause there is no other way that someone would pick out those outfits.

Feel free to add your own in the comments.

4 - Raider thoughts of the week

I wish I could say that I was surprised by Sunday's result against Green Bay. But coming into the game I said to a fellow Raider fan that Green Bay's D was too much for the Raiders to handle, and that the Raiders couldn't cover all 5 GB recievers or stop their running attack.

Now GB scored about 2 more TD's than I thought they would, and Oakland got about 6 less total points than they should have. But overall its what I expected.

Until this team finds:

A run stuffing D-lineman


A #1 WR

They will continue to wallow in mediocrity.

Lets see what JR can do against Indy.

5 - Retailers may be worried

So after hunting all day Saturday, I aquiested and went Christmas shopping with my mother. We headed up to the local outlet mall, where I anticipated the kind of crowds that would quickly make me hate my life.

Instead the stores were vertualy empty. I don't think we walked into more than 1 store where there were more than 5 shoppers other than us. Picking up a gift for my wife in 1 store we commented on this to 1 of the employees and he said that the managers were freeking out, but he didn't care.

Now the Best Buy I went into last night was packed, so this weekend may have been an isolated incident. But its not a good sign when an outlet mall that I've had trouble finding parking at this time of year in the past has almost no shoppers visiting with only 2 weekends left before Christmas.

6 - Some Celebutards get what they deserve

With asshats like Spears and Hilton getting little or no jail time mostly due to the fact they are celebraties, it is easy to loose faith in the judicial system and feel that all you have to do is be rich and you don't have to live by societies rules.

Well we all learned that is wrong this week. You have to be rich, white, female and show your snatch to the paparatzi.

Mike Vick is only rich. So he get to go to Jail for the next two years for being an asshole. Seems about right to me. Now hopefuly the state of Virginia gets off its ass and hands down some local charges so that we can be assured that this fuckwad never sees another NFL field, unless its on the prison TV.

7 - NFL Parity... its sucktastic

OK, so the NFL has its top 4 - NE, Indy, Dallas and Green Bay

it has its bottom 5 - Miami, SF, NY Jets, STL and Atlanta

Then it has 24 inconsiquential teams, who no-one other than the fans of said team give a fuck about. With 3 weeks left almost any one of these teams could still sneak into a wildcard slot, or into a top 10 draft pick. Honestly, if one of the top 4 teams isn't playing and your favorite team isn't playing, why would you watch any other random NFL game?

The Saints played Atlanta last night. I'm a football fanatic, but I found I was more interesting in watching the 15th anaversary of RAW than Monday night football.

Here's one for you, give me Seatle's record without looking it up. If you aren't a Seahawks fan, I'm guessing you have no idea.

As usual, I'll blame this on the media, they are so busy riding Brady and the Patroit's collective jocks, that they have forgoten that any teams other than the Pats, Colts, Packers and Boys play the game. I could understand this in the final couple weeks of the year, but this has been going on since camera-gate.

I'de love to see a pregame show just say "you know what, you already know all there is to know about these 4 teams, lets talk about this surprising Buffalo team this week". But it aint gonna happen.

By the way, the Seahawks are 9-4.

1 comment:

McFluffin said...

I guessed 8-4, meaning I only thought they had played 12 games by week 14, oh well, fuck the seahawks anyways.