Brickinthebox is live on tape delay from an Indianapolis bar across the street from the NFL combine. We secretly taped the conversations that occurred between ourselves and NFL bigwigs to gain some incredible insight into the NFL draft, which we are sharing here with our reader. Warning – Spoilers ahead.
It may have been the frustration of trying to have a conversation where we talked 1990’s Buffalo Bills in conjunction with the draft, or it could have just been the lunch rush, but it seemed like it was taking forever to get our order and Romeo was getting visibly disturbed. My attention was taken away from the door as the beads of sweat forming on Romeo’s brow began to consume my attention, so I didn’t even see our next guest come in. Than again, he may have just scurried in under the door.
Mike Shanahan – Romeo, how are things in Cleveland, hehehehe
Romeo – hello Mike, have you given up on all my cast-offs yet?
Shanahan – I got more out of them than you ever could. You may have had a better season last year, but need I remind you… Brady Quinn, hehehehe
Romeo – you are a real piece of shit, you know that right.
Shanahan – hehehehehe
Marv - Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Shanahan – 4 straight superbowl losses, that must sting huh Marv hehehehe
Marv – well we are still the team to beat in the AFC, although you are building a nice team around John.
Shanahan – So I know Romeo, I know Marv, who are you (addressing me)
Brick – names Brick, I’m here studying NFL coaches, I’ve found that most can be compared to members of the animal kingdom, you could pass for a rat.
Shanahan – Raider fan huh, TIME OUT, hehehehe
The waiter shows up.
Sorry for the delay gentlemen, things are all backed up in the kitchen, is there something I can get you Sir (addressing Shanahan)
Shanahan – how about a cheese platter.
Romeo, Marv and I all crack up laughing
Shanahan – cheese, yeh, Rat, I know, hehehehe
Romeo – at least you don’t try to hide it,
Brick – So is the team going to under perform for you again this year.
Shanahan – ITS NOT MY FAULT, IT WAS THE DC… I GAVE HIM ALL THE PIECES, HE JUST COULDN’T GET IT DONE.
Romeo – settle down Alice, your going to get us all kicked out of here, you know how restaurants hate rodents.
Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Shanahan – Wide Right, hehehehehe
Marv starts to weep a little
Marv – we worked so hard that year, I thought we were going to beat the Giants, but we can’t pin that all on Scott, it was a team loss.
Shanahan – hehehehehe
Brick – you are a real ass
Shanahan – Oh, I’m just having a little fun with the old man, have you told him that he was fired
Marv stares blankly at Shanahan
Romeo – ignore him Marv, he is just bitter that without John he’ll never amount to anything.
Marv – what happened to John?
Brick – nothing, Romeo is just pointing out how important he is to the team, So Mike, what are the Broncos looking to do in this years draft?
Shanahan – well its no secret, we need to find some more weapons for Jay
Marv – John?
Shanahan – yeah , more weapons for John, our oline is aging but we find our guys later in the draft, and in the secondary we could use some safety help and you can never have enough dlineman.
Marv – well you should be able to target a receiver like Malcolm Kelly or DeSean Jackson or a safety like Kenny Philips at your slot, I think the value won’t be there at D tackle for you.
Shanahan stares blankly at Marv
Brick – yeah, its 1994 with 2008 draft picks, its giving me a headache.
Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Shanahan (visibly shaken) yeah, if Kenny Philips is there, I don’t see us passing on him, either WR would be nice, but the draft is deep there and I can get one in round 2. I think I’m going to excuse myself.
Romeo – don’t let the door hit you on the way out asshole.
Shanahan (composing himself, looks at Romeo) Brady Quinn (looks at Marv) WIDE RIGHT, (looks at me) 2 division wins in the last 3 years…HEHEHEHEHE
And with that he scurried out of the bar, once again, I didn’t even see the door open.
Marv – poor Scott, he’ll never live that kick down.
Romeo – That sucka is a rat.
Brickinthebox mock draft:
1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Keith Rivers, LB, USC
10. New Orleans Saints - Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
11. Buffalo Bills – Sedric Ellis, DT, USC
12. Denver Broncos - Kenny Philips, S, Miami
Showing posts with label Fun with Alzheimer’s. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fun with Alzheimer’s. Show all posts
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
2008 - Brickinthebox Mock-Draft - Buffalo, Marv is Lost
Brickinthebox is live on tape delay from an Indianapolis bar across the street from the NFL combine. We secretly taped the conversations that occurred between ourselves and NFL bigwigs to gain some incredible insight into the NFL draft, which we are sharing here with our reader. Warning – Spoilers ahead.
As the bar continued to fill for the lunch rush, a commotion arose at the bar.
Bartender – No we do not offer a senior citizens discount, I don’t care who you are. You can leave for all I care, I’m too busy to deal with you today Marv.
Romeo – Marv, hey Marv…MARV!!!!
Old man turns around.
Romeo – come over here, I’ll get you lunch.
Marv Levy – Thanks, but do I know you?
Romeo – yeah Marv, it’s me Romeo Crennel, we have know each other for years.
Marv – It’s a pleasure to meet you; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Brick – Mr. Levy, I hate to be rude, but you haven’t been head coach of the Bills in years, in fact you don’t even work for them anymore.
Marv stares blankly at me for a few moments
Marv – A pleasure to meet you young man, I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Romeo – just play along, someone will be here soon to pick him up.
Brick (shrugging shoulders) Ok, well Marv, what brings you to the combine.
Marv – Well we are always looking for bright young talent to add to our team, I really feel this is the year we take the next step and win the Super Bowl.
Brick – wow, shouldn’t you concentrate on making the playoffs 1st, Its going to be tough to get past New England.
Marv – New England, we have dominated them for years, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. No the biggest threat to us in division in Miami and that damn Dan Marino.
Brick – Dan Marino… but he hasn’t….
Romeo – what my friend is trying to say is that you are real close, are you looking more at offense or defense.
Marv – Well Jim would always like more receivers and lineman, but if the Dallas game proved anything to us, its that we need to upgrade our defense to get the ball back and keep the K-gun on the field.
Waiter shows up at the table, takes Marv’s and Romeo’s orders.
Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Brick – Yes you are, you were about to tell me about who you are looking at on the Dline.
Marv – Why yes, Bruce Smith is one of the most dominant defensive ends in the history of the NFL, but we could use some help up the middle, someone to take advantage of the double teams that he demands.
Brick – so you don’t think an upgrade at corner or wide receiver is in order.
Marv – well you see the draft is a crapshoot, and you never know what is going to fall to you. A player like Glenn Dorsey could slip, or the best player available could be a big wide out like Malcolm Kelly, we have had luck with Okalahoma boys.
Brick – Dorsey…Kelly I thought we were talking 1994
Marv stares blankly at me for a minute
Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Brick – Ok, so lets say that Sedrick Ellis is there, would he be a player that the Bills are interested in?
Marv – Oh, no doubt. That young man would look great lined up next to Bruce Smith. He could make the difference in a rematch with Dallas.
Brick – well than it’s settled, I’m putting the Bills down for Sedrick Ellis, nice choice Mr. Levy.
Marv – I’m sorry, have we met… I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Romeo – where is this fools nurse.
Brickinthebox mock draft:
1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Keith Rivers, LB, USC
10. New Orleans Saints - Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
11. Buffalo Bills – Sedrick Ellis, DT, USC
As the bar continued to fill for the lunch rush, a commotion arose at the bar.
Bartender – No we do not offer a senior citizens discount, I don’t care who you are. You can leave for all I care, I’m too busy to deal with you today Marv.
Romeo – Marv, hey Marv…MARV!!!!
Old man turns around.
Romeo – come over here, I’ll get you lunch.
Marv Levy – Thanks, but do I know you?
Romeo – yeah Marv, it’s me Romeo Crennel, we have know each other for years.
Marv – It’s a pleasure to meet you; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Brick – Mr. Levy, I hate to be rude, but you haven’t been head coach of the Bills in years, in fact you don’t even work for them anymore.
Marv stares blankly at me for a few moments
Marv – A pleasure to meet you young man, I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Romeo – just play along, someone will be here soon to pick him up.
Brick (shrugging shoulders) Ok, well Marv, what brings you to the combine.
Marv – Well we are always looking for bright young talent to add to our team, I really feel this is the year we take the next step and win the Super Bowl.
Brick – wow, shouldn’t you concentrate on making the playoffs 1st, Its going to be tough to get past New England.
Marv – New England, we have dominated them for years, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. No the biggest threat to us in division in Miami and that damn Dan Marino.
Brick – Dan Marino… but he hasn’t….
Romeo – what my friend is trying to say is that you are real close, are you looking more at offense or defense.
Marv – Well Jim would always like more receivers and lineman, but if the Dallas game proved anything to us, its that we need to upgrade our defense to get the ball back and keep the K-gun on the field.
Waiter shows up at the table, takes Marv’s and Romeo’s orders.
Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Brick – Yes you are, you were about to tell me about who you are looking at on the Dline.
Marv – Why yes, Bruce Smith is one of the most dominant defensive ends in the history of the NFL, but we could use some help up the middle, someone to take advantage of the double teams that he demands.
Brick – so you don’t think an upgrade at corner or wide receiver is in order.
Marv – well you see the draft is a crapshoot, and you never know what is going to fall to you. A player like Glenn Dorsey could slip, or the best player available could be a big wide out like Malcolm Kelly, we have had luck with Okalahoma boys.
Brick – Dorsey…Kelly I thought we were talking 1994
Marv stares blankly at me for a minute
Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Brick – Ok, so lets say that Sedrick Ellis is there, would he be a player that the Bills are interested in?
Marv – Oh, no doubt. That young man would look great lined up next to Bruce Smith. He could make the difference in a rematch with Dallas.
Brick – well than it’s settled, I’m putting the Bills down for Sedrick Ellis, nice choice Mr. Levy.
Marv – I’m sorry, have we met… I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Romeo – where is this fools nurse.
Brickinthebox mock draft:
1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Keith Rivers, LB, USC
10. New Orleans Saints - Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
11. Buffalo Bills – Sedrick Ellis, DT, USC
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