Friday, September 19, 2008

Brick's Picks Week 3

Little slow around here this week, seems every time that I think I have some time to type another column something comes up. But that shouldn’t be a problem as I drew the short straw and have to work the night shift tonight. That means no phone calls, nobody stopping into my office and hopefully no emergencies. So lets get right into it.

Didn’t do all that bad last week with the picks, as I went 4 for 5, yes I am counting the everyone looses in the Denver vs. San Diego game, as there has been a weeks worth of controversy and we are all dumber for it.

As for the San Diego fans who are crying over the missed call and the replay equipment malfunction. WHHAAAAAAAAA, cry me a fucking river you front running fucks. Chances are none of you could name a player on the team 5 years ago when you were fighting for 3rd place every year. Now you bandwagoners got a taste of what Raider fans have been complaining about for years. The officials suck.

Did bodybuilder Ed fuck up the call. Sure did, but there are missed calls every game. They don’t always come at such a critical time, but great teams with great coaches don’t get put in the position that the call costs them the game, and have the ability to over come the bad call.

I’m reminded of the snow job that the Raiders were the victims of in New England. Was the call bullshit, if you aren’t a complete hater or a delusional Patriots fan you can admit that it was. But the Raiders had ample chance to salt that game away later and didn’t come through. The Raiders were a better team talent wise than that Patriots squad, but they were not a good enough team to over come that call.

That is where the Chargers stand right now. Talent wise the team is stacked. But with Turner at the helm and a lack of leaders on the field the team is not good enough to overcome a bad call or two. A.J. Smith is a great talent evaluator, but seems to put talent over character and leadership. Say what you will about the Rat, but he consistently gets the most out of his offensive talent on game day. That is why the Broncos are tough, and the Chargers have tough luck.

On to the picks:

As always, these are the games that I will be making a point to check out at some point of the day, not necessarily the best match-up, just the ones I am the most interested in.

Oakland +9.5 at Buffalo

I like just about everything about these Bills except the coaching. Dick Jauron just doesn’t seem to have the balls to make the tough choice when necessary. Instead he calls the game by the book. Jauron would never have gone for 2 the way the Rat did against the Chargers. This will cost the Bills when they reach a big game. This week however the Bills seem to be a little better than the Raiders at just about all phases of the game, and should win a close one, but not by enough to cover the spread:
The Pick – Oakland with the points.

Dallas at Green Bay +3

This to me is a great match-up, Dallas’s offense looks like it could be a Juggernaut, but Green Bay will give them their stiffest test to date. The over/under is 51, which is the easy pick (over), the game itself is much tougher, which is why I will be paying attention. I think in the end Dallas’s 3-4 will be too tough of a nut for Aaron Rogers to crack.

The Pick – Dallas

Jacksonville +5 at Indianapolis

Well my preseason Super Bowl pick of Jacksonville is looking pretty bad right now. Injuries have decimated the squad, but in the Colts they face another team with huge problems. No Bob Sanders should open up the run game for Jax, and lead them to a win…I hope.

The Pick – Jacksonville

Pittsburgh +3.5 at Philadelphia

The local Yintzers are going crazy as their Steelers have opened up the season 2-0. Color me less than completely impressed. The opening day blowout of the Texans was nice, but Houston is still a year away from being able to compete with the best. If you read the site you know that I was down on Cleveland from the start, and I was more surprised by how close they managed to keep things that by Pittsburgh’s win. Philly will give them their 1st real test, and the fire zone defense will utterly confuse Pittsburgh’s line. This will be a physical low scoring game with Philly coming out on top.

The Pick – Philly

NY Jets +8.5 at San Diego

Thank god for the mute button, I don’t think I would be able to watch the Monday night crew verbally fellate Favre without it. San Diego will come together this week and stomp the Jets, not much more needs to be said.

The Pick – San Diego

Thats it, I'm having connection problems now, so just watch the interior line play of the LSU vs. Auburn match-up. Pro tallent on both sides when LSU has the ball.

Monday, September 15, 2008

7 Things From a Football Packed Weekend

Another week another Seven things, this is starting to become a habit. This weekend was pretty boring, other than football anyway, so lets just get right into it.

1 – Fat equals Funny

Tom Brady blowing out his knee was funny because it hurt so many stupid people. Charlie the Whale blowing out his knee was god damn hilarious. I mean look at this video:

I can’t stop laughing, can you? If you can than go fuck yourself that is some funny shit there. It was even better in HD as I replayed it over and over again. Go ahead and watch it one more time, TIMBER!!!!!!!!!

2 – An Open Letter to Sweater vest

Dear Sweater vest, if you aren’t going to play Terrell Pryor, why the fuck did you recruit him. He was by far the best offensive player on the field for THEO this weekend. Fuck the senior, he isn’t going to amount to shit anyway, or he would have by now. If you want to stop loosing to top teams, you are going to have to embrace Pryor. Ehh, forget it, I like it better when you get embarrassed every time you play a top 10 team not from the Big-Televen.

3 – Vince Young is Fuckin Crazy

You want to quit you fucking pussy, you run up against the 1st adversity that you have experience in your young life and you are ready to throw in the towel. You know what, go ahead, commit suicide you dumb motherfucker. Just don’t try slitting your wrists, you will probably cut short of the vein. And don’t try to kill yourself with your car, you’ll miss the tree wide right. And don’t try to overdose on pills, you’ll just one hop them all off your chin.

That’s right Vince, you suck so bad, I bet you couldn’t even commit suicide right.

Look I understand there is allot of pressure in being an NFL quarterback, but I can’t relate, see I’m not paid Millions of dollars to play a kids game. A little bit of getting boo’ed as a trade off, I guess I can see how that would break you down, you fucking vag.

4 – Hurricanes are awesome.

Killer floods, windows blowing out, tornadoes, fucking up NFL passing attacks, its like a real life Michael Bay movie, except entertaining. Plus you get to see news people make complete asses of themselves. I think it was on CNN that I saw a monster truck being used to help rescue people. To which the anchor expressed how bizarre it was to see a monster truck out on the streets.

Do even know where you are? You overly primped microphone jockey. You are in Texas you queer, there is a monster truck on every block. Fuck if you are a Texas born male, and don’t own a monster truck at some time, chances are you are a Faggot, sort of like your average newscaster.

Hmmm, Monster Trucks, maybe Michael Bay did direct Hurricane Ike, it was his best work yet, just needed more boobies.

5 – Overrated, Underrated, time for new ratings

I saw a ranking of the top 50 NFL players this off-season that had Antonio Cromartie listed as the 2nd best CB in the NFL. Well if that is the case, Brandon Marshall is superman. Look, I admit that Cromartie is a physical freak, whom had quite a breakout year last year. But if you look at his game he is far from a polished product, and now that NFL team have had a chance to see him on tape, he is going to struggle until he raises his game.

But this is just the way things are. For some reason there is a race to be the 1st to either label a player a super star, or a bust. Some Raider fans wanted to label Michael Huff a bust after two solid seasons playing out of position, why? because he didn’t put up INT numbers.

So get all caught up in the hype if you want, I mean based on this last week Darren McFadden is the NFL’s best running back, Cromartie is the worst CB and the Jets still can’t beat the Pats, even with Favre. But try to remember, a season is 16 games, and if a guy is worth rating, wait at least until their 3rd season so you get a true feel for what they are going to be.

6 – Fantasy Football is fucking with me

Have I told you I am in 5 leagues, pretty pathetic right. Not as pathetic as what is going on right now in those leagues. In the no-money involved, I could give a flying fuck leagues I am a combined 5-1, with my loss coming in a week 1 134-131 shootout (no other team broke 90). In my two money leagues I am winless and yet to break 65 points.

So whom do I blame, David Garrard and Carson Palmer.

Get your fucking heads out of your Asses. I know you both have WR problems, and Carson I know you had to deal with a stiff breeze this weekend. But there is no excuse for the numbers you are putting up.

Oh, and don’t think I forgot about you Colston, owe I hurt my thumb, get out on the field and catch the ball one handed you cunt.

MJD, oh my entire offensive line has fallen apart, Justin Fargas, my groin hurts, Nate Burleson, I only think knee injuries are funny when they happen to people I don’t have on my fantasy team.


7 – Raiders

I am hesitant to write about how encouraged I am about the team’s play, because it looks like Al is dead set on sending the team back 2 years again. I know I have said that I didn’t believe the media’s reports of how bad it was in Raider Land, and that I supported Lane’s questioning of the talent acquisition. But I think he went a step to far last week.

Essentially Lane tried to pass the buck for the play on the field. Sorry coach, once the games start, you are responsible. We all know that you have no control over the defense, but what you did will do more to foster a defense vs. offense mentality in the locker room, than to gain any real headway in working with Al.

Face it, Lane pretty much called Ryan a puppet, and said that it was Al calling the defense, and calling it poorly.

What we have here are two men who are acting like idiots. Al refuses to admit that some parts of the game may have passed him by. Lane refuses to work within the system, a system that he claims that he knew about when signing his deal with Al.

All of which serves to overshadow a dominant in division performance by the team. Sure the Chiefs are the new Cardinals, but division rivals usually put up more of a fight than that, regardless of how shitty they are.

So yay, the Raiders won, Bush and McFadden looked good, the QB’s went down, and the coverage was decent. Hell Warren looked like the DT he was drafted to be eight seasons ago. But if this Kiffin / Al relationship has progressed to the point where it cannot be salvaged, I fear that the progress of JaMarcus, that which is most important to the franchise right now, is about to get tossed out the window.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Brick's Picks Week 2

It is already Thursday; goddamn this week is flying by. Since I don’t know if I will have time to write anything tomorrow I decided to flip a coin and either write an NFL preview, or One Game to Watch. Then I decided that everyone is going to be watching USC destroy THEO anyway, so why bother, every player on USC is a future All-Pro, and the Buckeye are sure to have a bunch of assholes. So that made the decision easy. NFL preview it is.

1st things 1st, there is something I need to get off my chest; this whole Tom Brady thing has really been getting to me. I admitted that I reacted with Glee when I saw the Golden Boy go down on Sunday. Then time and time again I heard how terrible it is that people cheer because Tom Terrific got injured, how it is a sign of our downfall as a society, and it really made me think, it made me think:


Oh, so you have never taken joy in the misfortune of others. Bullshit. We all do it, all for our own reasons. See the brand new Mercedes driven by some prick back into a telephone pole, hilarious, see the red neck get busted on cops, laugh out loud, see the pretty boy get broken, funny as shit.

Now think about it, why are each of these funny, and worth watching time and time again. If you own a Mercedes chances are you are a pretentious fuck, and need to be taken down a peg, we all hate you and its fun to watch you suffer. Do I really need to explain how funny it is to watch trailer trash get busted for meth? And then there is dear old Tom.

When I cheer, I am not so much cheering for Tom’s injury, I am cheering for the shattered dreams of Millions of New England band wagoners. The insufferable lot that has become worse than Yankee fans the past 7 years. It wasn’t bad after the 1st Super Bowl win, everyone knew it was a joke and they had been handed the game by the refs, deep down I’m pretty sure that the Pats fans did too. But then things snowballed, the Pats won again and again, the Sox won twice, hell I hear that the basketball team did well also.

The level of hubris is New England became staggering. Talking to a Red Sox fan became the same as talking to a Yankee fan when they were on their run. The Pats fans constant claims that no one respected them were pathetic. Did they really feel that they were entitled to at least a full hour of SportsCenter devoted to their team; yes the sense of entitlement really had gotten that out of control.

So seeing one of the key players on their team go down, and potentially throw their whole season into turmoil was worthy of being cheered. I have nothing against Brady, I will still marvel at the way he picks apart defenses while his line holds away, and it could have been any one of a number of Pats getting injured that would have caused me delight. Not due to the physical pain inflicted on the player, but for the mental anguish inflicted on the Fans.

On to the Picks:

Remember these are the games that I plan on watching a good portion of, so they may not be the best match-up, but they are the ones I care about.

Raiders + 3.5 at Chiefs

As good as I felt about the Brady injury, a Pats fan actually made a great point to me this week. As bad as the Matt Cassel era may turn out to be, he would actually rather watch that than the product the Raiders have put out on the field the last 5 years. And I couldn’t disagree. So is this the week that the defense gets its collective heads out of their Asses? Chances are no, but I am a homer so:

The Pick – Raiders

New England +1.5 at NY Jets

A week ago I would have done anything to avoid watching this game, I am so sick of Attention Whore Theater staring #4. But now, with Matt Cassel at the helm, I am going to delight in rubbing it in to Favre fans when the Patriots, without their franchise QB, still beat the hugely overrated Jets.

The Pick – New England

Pittsburgh at Cleveland +6

The Steelers have a Great week 1 victory against the Texans, and Brady gets hurt and now they are Super Bowl favorites? Really, has anyone looked at their schedule and their O-line? Now I don’t expect them to have much trouble with Cleveland this week, but reality is going to hit the Steel City hard in a couple weeks.

The Pick – Pittsburgh

San Diego at Denver +1.5

Is Denver for real, or is Oakland really that bad. What a shitty reason for watching a game. Fuck I hate how my team sucks.

The Pick – We all loose

Philadelphia +7 at Dallas

Is it just me, or does the Eagles offense have some incredible week 1 performance every other year? Well I for one hope it continues this week, if only because it is fun to listen to Cowboys fans make excuses, and Eagles fan is so miserable that you kind of have to pity them. Sort of the way it used to be with Yankees and Red Sox fans. So for that reason I hope the City of Philadelphia never wins a Championship again, we can’t afford any more fan bases going the way of Boston’s.

The Pick – Philly with the points

Enjoy your weekend, am root along with me for the following things:

Randy Moss to return his head to up his ass
Another Seahawk receiver to get a season ending injury
Ben Roethlisberger to choke to death at Primantis
The accidental dropping of a Bomb at Invesco

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

7 Things are better than 10 - Kick Off Weekend

7 things is a day late this week for two reasons, 1 the Raiders played Monday night so the new week didn’t officially start until today, and 2 this was an incredibly shitty week, and yesterday I had no internet for most of the day. Anyway, I’m not going to bitch about my life here, at least not for another paragraph or two, so on with the show.

1 – I suck at picking games

Or at least you think I do. I picked 7 games in my last column, and of those I got right 2 (at least I think New Orleans covered, I’m not checking right now). But there were mitigating factors:

- Those weren’t my locks; those were the games I went into the weekend planning to watch. For my locks of the week I was a perfect 9 for 9, at least as far as you know.
- Never, and I mean NEVER, pick your favorite teams game. I obviously had some rose colored glasses on when I picked the Raiders to beat Denver.
- Its week 1, everyone’s picks suck week 1.

2 – I am a Hater

You know I have continued to lie to myself and to you, my reader, about how I respect the Patriots, I enjoy watching them play football at the highest level. I admit rooting for the underdog, but its not the team I cannot stand, it is the Fans.

I was wrong. I shouted for joy when Andrew Siciliano cut to the Pats game for breaking news and it was Tom Brady lying on his back in pain. Then they showed the replay and I jumped again. It had finally happened, the Pats streak of incredible luck since the Snow Job had ended. Andrew Siciliano, in his gravest, most serious voice, a voice reserved for the assassination of presidents, said “Tom Brady Limped off the Field”.

I joyfully grabbed my laptop, logged on to the fantasy football sire where I was playing a Pats fan that had Brady as his QB and typed in my new team name:

“Tom Brady Limped off the Field”.

I am a Hater after all.

3 – Hey Assholes it is only week 1

I am so fucking sick of listening to fucking retards go on an on about how their team is either going to the Super Bowl, or will be on the clock in January based on their week 1 performance.

Dear Dipshits, there are 15 games left, plenty of ACL’s will be blown out as they are played over the course of the next 4 months. So as we remember that the Super Bowl winners from last season were blown out, lets also remember the following.
- Beating the hapless Dolphins does not mean that the Jets are any better for trading for Favre. They are still a 7-9 to 9-7 team, just like with Pennington. The only difference is now that Brady is down they may be able to slip into a wild card spot with an extra win.

- Michael Turner is not going to set a new NFL rushing record, he played the Lions.

- Kansas City staying within 7 of New England does not mean that they are an improved team. It means that Brady blew out his ACL. (Ok I admit, I just wanted to type that again).

- The Bears are not back, the Colts are not falling apart, and the Titans, well hold up with Vince Young hurt and having emotional issues, maybe the Titans could win some games. Maybe you can learn something from week 1.

4 – Even when the Games suck, college football fuckin rocks

I didn’t post a 1 game to watch column last week, as there were time constraints, and there really wasn’t a match-up that was that great from a looking at NFL talent standpoint. So I skipped it. And I also agreed to go with my wife to the new outlet mall Saturday Morning. Which meant I got the following call from my neighbor.

Auburn - “DUDE, why aren’t you over here watching football”

Brick - “I’m at the new outlets with my wife”

Auburn - “DO you know what the score of the Ohio St. Ohio game is.”?

Brick - “I’m guessing that Ohio St. is losing if you called me”

Auburn - “Fuck yeah, how did you get roped into going to the outlet Mall”

Brick - “I didn’t want to go tomorrow when the NFL kicks off”

Auburn - “Ummmm…. My wife wants to know if the Mall is any good, she wants us to go there tomorrow, I hate you”

That is what he gets for calling me to gloat that he is watching football when I obviously am not. He can see my driveway from the chair he watches the game in, so he knows damn well that I am being tortured in some way if my truck is not there on a College or Pro Football game day.

So I missed the Ohio vs. Ohio St match up until I got into my car as Ohio St returned a kickoff or punt, what ever. But I still got home in time to see San Diego St. almost nock off ND, and Florida get all they could handle from a rebuilding Miami squad for a half, plus a little hand job action in Texas. Not bad for starting the day at an outlet mall.

5 – Some People do not have the Red Zone Channel

You stupid fucks, that is what you get for settling for cable. Every time I get a call from a cable company offering some great deal to sign up with them I ask them 1 question.

Do you have Sunday Ticket?

I have had a number of different responses, never an outright no. There have been offers to check into that, to put me through to an advisor, and an outright lie of “yes, Verizon Fios comes with Sunday Ticket, should I sign you up?”

And being the incredibly friendly guy that I am, I usually tell them not to call back until the cable company gets Sunday Ticket, and for my lying friend, I wasted his time for at least 15 minutes asking if I would get certain match-ups with Verizon’s Sunday Ticket, since I knew I would get them with Direct TV.

But the best part of the Sunday Ticket, with Free Super Fan Package just for logging a random complaint and asking for the cancellation department when my incredibly unreasonable demand wasn’t met, is the Red Zone Channel. I didn’t have to wait for a break in the action for the CBS to break into the Steelers game to show me Tom Brady going down (yep forced it in again), The Red Zone channel switch me over in time to see him still lying on the field. Matt Ryan’s 1st NFL completion for TD, saw it before it posted on ESPN’s Fantasy tracker.

Yeah, if you don’t have the NFL Sunday Ticket with Super Fan package, you pretty much suck at life.

6 – Yeah, the Raiders

I think I just vomited in my mouth; well that is what went through my mind a number of times last night.

I put this one off as long as possible, because they sucked out loud last night. I could make some excuses, because the officiating was horseshit, but even if the game had been called well, the Bronco’s still would have won handily. So lets just get some quick hits out of the way, and maybe I’ll break down a player later.

RunDMC, you know how I questioned his vision; yeah that is why he is running into the backs of his blockers all the time. I have no doubt if he were to ever get the ball out in space he might be special, but right now he is Reggie Bush part 2, which isn’t that bad, it just isn’t worth a top 5 pick. If you are lucky, in a few years he turns into Brian Westbrook, but that will be incredibly lucky.

Me Angelo Hall, put another one on the board for good old brick, too bad this is one that I hate getting right.

D-Russ, not bad rook, too bad you wasted last season so you could take the same contract that was on the table in April after missing training camp. Because I can’t wait to see how you look after two training camps.

Ehh, enough negativity, lets move on to some thing more fun.

7 – Solomon Wilcots has a job for what reason?

Anyone else catch at least part of the Titans vs. Jags match-up? Anyone else notice the constant excuses made for Vince Young by Solomon? There is one of two things going on here. Either these two are sucking each other off, or Solomon likes Vince because he is black.

Because no white hetero sexual QB will ever get the kind of ball washing despite a horrid performance that Young got from Wilcots last weekend.

That’s right, I am pulling the race card. Its time that white boys pull it with reckless abandon. There is a 50% chance of a black man being president. So that means everything must finally be equal. So race card, come to PAPA.

Solomon Wilcots, you are a racist. If Vince Young was not a black man who enjoyed giving you blow jobs during the pregame interviews you would not be lavishing such praise upon his pathetic ass…

Hmm rereading that, maybe Solomon Wilcots is just gay, and there is nothing wrong with that, so long as you don’t allow it to interfere with your work.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Week 1 NFL Picks by Brick

Maybe I am just a little over excited for the start of the NFL season, but damn, there are some match-ups that look great on paper this weekend. Looking over these match-up reminds me why I prefer the NFL game to the college game.

The NFL just does it right, it truly is an “Any Given Sunday” proposition. There is not one match-up this weekend where I cannot make an argument for how the underdog could pull out a victory. Sure College Football has Appalachian St. vs. Michigan, or USC vs. Stanford, but there are far too many ND vs. Sister Mary’s School of the Blind for my taste.

The NFL also is just a better product than college football. Say what you will about the emotion or the passion of college football, but the NFL game is so much more complex in terms of schemes, College is checkers to the NFL’s chess. There is just no argument there, if you think differently you are clueless, get out of my blog.

So that brings us to the point of this column, lets make some picks. If you have read this far, you might as well keep reading, its not like its going to get any dumber. I'm just going to look at the games where I think there is a strong chance that I'll be putting this game on my TV for at least a quarter. If you want someone to pick ever game, and get most of them wrong, go read Simmons.

Washington Redskins + 3.5 at NY Giants

Of course I’ll be watching this one, it is only the fucking 1st game of the season. As for the winner, There is a reason I didn’t pick the Giants to make it back to the playoffs, one is that they have regressed from last season, while the rest of the Division at least maintained, while others improved, and this was a tight division to begin with. So with the Giants regressing, and the Redskins standing firm, the Redskins have move ahead of the Giants.

The pick – Redskins

Seattle +1 at Buffalo

I’ll be checking this game out more due to the fact that it features two teams that I think could make playoff runs that any real feel that it will be an exciting game. As for the spread, I think this is more due to the general public’s reluctance to accept the Seahawks as a good team, than any real indicator of how good or bad either team is. The Hawks have some questions at both WR and RB, but the rest of the team is better than anything Buffalo has to offer.

The Pick – Seattle

Jacksonville +3 at Tennessee

I’ll be watching this since I have MJD and D. Garrard on a couple fantasy teams, and because I love being right about what a shitty NFL QB Vince Young has turned into. As for the pick, I don’t care if Jacksonville doesn’t have any WR’s, they didn’t last year either and they kicked ass.

The Pick – Jaguars

Tampa Bay +3 at New Orleans

Here is a great example of how the NFL just does it right. Division match-up, week 1, two teams with Super Bowl aspirations. Right here is the game of the week. I don’t care about either team, but I’ll be watching due to the match-up. I don’t care who wins, but since I’m writing a pick column I guess I’ll take:

The Pick - Saints

Chicago +9.5 at Indy

Here is a great one to make some money on, IMO. Peyton hasn’t ever played with his starting center this week. Chicago’s defense is still very good. Indy will win, but it will be closer than the spread. So as you end your Sunday football orgy, enjoy a game that is going to be easy to fall asleep to.

The pick – Chicago plus the points

Minnesota at Green Bay +2.5

Monday nights appetizer for the Main course of the Raiders. I’ll have this game on as I try to pass the time until kick-off at 10:15 (oh yeah there is a major rant coming about that BS). So in a battle of two outstanding defenses with offenses having major question marks, I’m going with the team that should do a better job of shutting down the run due to superior DT’s.

The pick – Minnesota

Denver at Oakland +3

That’s right, the icing on the cake that is NFL kickoff weekend. The Raiders take on the Broncos. I am constantly amazed by how confident that Bronco’s fans are that Shanahan has this team on the right track. I cannot believe how many places pick the Broncos to be a playoff team. What am I missing, they can’t stop the run, they have moved away from their dominant run game, and they have nothing at WR other than Brandon “I hate my TV” Marshall. Look, I don’t claim that the Raiders are world beaters, but they match-up extremely well with the Bronco’s, I am taking the Raiders outright, the points are just gravy.

The pick - The Raiders

Seven games out of 16, that right there is a good goal. And thanks to the red zone channel I’ll be sure to catch parts of just about every game out there. These are just the games that I will definitely tune into for at least a drive or two, depending on how good they actually are.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

2008 - NFL Season Preview - Part 3 Part 2 The rest of the Playoffs

Finally, we have reached the final chapter of our NFL season preview. Which may actually mark the 1st time since high school that I have stayed with something this long. Yeah, that is both impressive and depressing. Anyway, we gave you the preview so far in terms of draft order. But I think the playoff teams deserve a little more attention, well that or I figure I can kill two birds with one stone and give you who will the Super Bowl at the same time.

What, you mean that you have read that opening paragraph before; well here have some Ice Cream:

I knew that would get you back, anyway on with the Divisional Round

AFC Game 1

Indianapolis (Wild Card)


New England Patriots (projected record 12 – 4, Division Winner)

Is there really any question which team will win the AFC East? Look at who the Pats get to play twice a year. Through in the fact they get the NFC West this year and it tells you how much I think this team has slipped that I haven’t predicted them to go undefeated again. Duct tape and Belichick’s unused sleeves are holding the Secondary together. The D-Line is arguably the best in the league, when Seymore is healthy. Brady is Brady, but I have huge questions about that O-line, and Moss is due for a breakdown. Still I only see 4 losses on the schedule, until this one:

Winner Indianapolis Colts

AFC Game 2

Baltimore Ravens (Wild Card)


Jacksonville Jaguars (projected record 14-2, Division Winner)

Ok, this is way to high a win total for Jacksonville, I actually expect them to be around 12 wins, but I don’t look at the record until I am done going through the schedule, and I was surprised that Jax came out this high. I like everything about this team, except the wide receivers. Face it, if Jerry Porter is the answer, you got problems. But everything else here is solid, and this team is built to win playoff games so that is what I expect them to do.

Winner – Jacksonville Jaguars

NFC Game 1

Minnesota Vikings (Division Winner)


Dallas Cowboys (projected record 12-4, Division Winner)

Look, I think that this team might implode this season, all the ingredients are there for a nuclear meltdown, but somehow they have held it together this long, and I think they will for most of the season. The biggest weakness on the team, #2 WR, but with T.O. and Whitten who cares who #2 is. And if Pac Man can stay out of trouble, that just adding a top 10 defensive player to an already good defense (yes Pac Man was that good two seasons ago). I think the Cowboys will do a better job covering up Roy Williams this season and will go deep in the playoffs, so we have:

Winner – Dallas Cowboys

NFC Game 2

New Orleans Saints (Division Winner)


Seattle Seahawks (projected record 13-3)

I don’t think the Seahawks are that good, they are just better than anyone else they play. With 2 games each against the Niners, Rams and Cardinals, plus one each vs. the Bills, Jets and Dolphins the Seahawks should be 9-0 without even trying. So I have them going 4-3 against real competition, yep they should be a little over 500 team, but thanks to their division they have home field advantage in the playoffs. Too bad you have to play top teams in the playoffs.

Winner – New Orleans Saints.

You know what, I have given you a capsule for each team, you now know who the final 4 will be so for the Sake of brevity (ha, there is a word that should never be associated with this blog) your Super Bowl will be.




With Jacksonville announcing during the ceremony to award the Lombardi that the team is moving to LA since the team didn’t sell out a single playoff game.

Have fun in Vegas with your newfound knowledge.

2008 - NFL Season Preview - Part 3 Wild Card Round

Finally, we have reached the final chapter of our NFL season preview. Which may actually mark the 1st time since high school that I have stayed with something this long. Yeah, that is both impressive and depressing. Anyway, we gave you the preview so far in terms of draft order. But I think the playoff teams deserve a little more attention, well that or I figure I can kill two birds with one stone and give you who will the Super Bowl at the same time.

Wild Card Round:


Indianapolis Colts (projected record 12-4, Wild Card)

This prediction for the Colts is completely dependant on Manning being able to play from week 2 on. Though that is in greater doubt due to Jeff Saturday’s injury. This team could go either way this season, Super Bowl or top 10 pick, which is completely nuts, but shows just how important Manning is to this team.


Pittsburgh Steelers (projected record 9-7, Division Winner)

The Steelers are a good team, not a great team, but their schedule is absolutely brutal, and I have serious questions about their offensive line. I have them winning the division, but that isn’t saying much with a 9-7 record. Now I must fear for my life walking the streets of Pittsburgh.

Winner – Colts

AFC Wild Card Game 2

Baltimore (projected record 8-8, Wild Card)

I know most people are down on Baltimore this season, but I see a mini resurgence. The schedule, much like the Steelers, is brutal, but here is the thing, the Defense will be back on top this season. The injury problems from last season should be mitigated by a few key off season pickups. And the combination of McGahee and Rice at RB will be more than enough to give the Defense some time to rest. I know they have a shitty QB, but how many times in the last 10 years have the Ravens made the playoffs despite a shitty QB?


San Diego Chargers (projected record 10-6, Division Winner)

I may not like San Diego, but they will be on top in the AFC West once again this season due to an incredible collection of talent. But I don’t have them going much further, as I believe that this is the year that LT breaks down, and Philip Rivers just doesn’t seem like he can handle the pressure of the offense running through him. They may win the west but injuries and age of key players will lead to an early playoff exit.

Winner – Baltimore Ravens

NFC Wild Card Game 1

Tampa Bay (projected record 12-4, Wild Card)

Lost in all the hype of New Orleans now having the greatest show on turf, is that Tampa Bay has quietly reloaded their defense, the offense is looking better than it has in years, and Jeff Garcia is definitely not gay…OK chances are his playmate wife is a beard, but whatever. This team is poised to make a Super Bowl run this year, unfortunately they play:


Minnesota Vikings (projected record 12-4, Division Winner)

Yeah, I know Tavaris Jackson is the starting QB, that isn’t a good thing, and there are questions as to whether or not Allen will play in the scheme, or if he will continue to just go for sacks. But I think the WR’s are better than last season, and Tavaris will be able to do just enough to keep Defenses honest and allow Peterson and Taylor to run wild. Against Tampa the run game for Minnesota is the difference allowing them to advance.

Winner – Minnesota Vikings

NFC Wild Card Game 2

Philadelphia Eagles (projected record 10-6, Wild Card)

It is amazing to me how much of an afterthough the Eagles seem to have become in the NFC East, but I believe they will be a playoff team this season. They have reloaded both the offensive and defensive lines the last couple drafts, and that is where the game is won or lost. I am not a fan of Samuals, I don’t think he will perform up to that contract in Philly’s system. And that is why I don’t think they will make any noise in the playoffs, the D isn’t as good as it once was, and there is still a lack of a consistent threat at WR.


New Orleans Saints (projected record 12-4, Division Winner)

This is a team that should be fun to watch this season. They have all the tools on offense to score at will, and they have all the holes on defense to allow the other team to pass at will. This team will fair well against teams with lesser offensive lines, as the pass rush should be good, but they will loose to the better lines in the league. Philly’s lack of playmakers at WR leaves them unable to take advantage of New Orleans’ holes.

Winner – New Orleans Saints

Holly Shit, we are at 3 pages, and we have only done the Wild Card round. This is regoddamndicules. Fuck it, I’ll finish this later today, I do have to work some.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

7 Things are better than 10 - Labor Day

I need more 3 day weekends, not so much because I make better use of my time, (although sleeping on the couch all day Sunday isn’t as bad when you have Monday to make up for lost time), but so that I can look forward to only going to work four days each week.

But there is a downfall to 4-day weeks. How am I going to get all of my regular Brickinthebox columns out, along with finishing my NFL season preview prior to the season starting. I’ll tell you how, by doing less work at work and more blogging, and by starting right now with 7 things you already knew, but I’m going to tell you again anyway:

1 – Sex Sells

At least I hope it does. I keep looking at these other successful blog sites and asking myself “why is this site successful” and the answer comes down to two things, tits. Yep both the left and the right one, that’s two things.

Sure I’m not as funny as some sites, my analysis is usually off base and incredibly bias, but that can’t be why I am not getting as many hits. It has to be the lack of pictures of random hot chicks in varius stages of undress. So from here on out we will be adding random pictures of barely dressed women to random posts, starting with this one.

You’re welcome.

2 – Brett Keisel is a god damn star.

OK, if you aren’t a Steeler fan you might not even know who this guy is. I was vaguely aware of him heading into this season. But he is a 3-4 DE, his job isn’t to collect eye catching stats, it is to collect blocks to allow the LB’s to reign havoc upon the offense. This is something that Keisel does well, but it isn’t anything that will get a stadium to go nuts at the mention of your name.

So Thursday night when I was at the Preseason crap fest between the Steelers and Panthers I was shocked to hear the Steelers Faithful go nuts when Keisel was introduced. I thought to myself, wow I know this is a good city for football knowledge, but I figure this kind of response would be saved for the Jersey sellers, and Polamalu’s response did blow Keisel’s out of the water, as did Bettis just being on the sideline.

Then the truth hit me. Pittsburgh is no more appreciative of their blue collar players than any other team. Brett Keisel is a star in Pittsburgh for a reason completely unrelated to his play on the field. Brett Keisel is a dancer. Yeah, you heard that right, a dancer. When the Steelers play their pump up the crowd music leading up to the opening kickoff (the OH OH OHOH OH song) the image of Brett jumping back and forth dancing to the music fills the high def jumbotron.

Some days I love the city of Pittsburgh, others, I wonder if there is anyone home.

3 – College Football is Back

Well if you watched my 1 game to watch this week, you saw that there definitely is some young talent on that Alabama squad, and Clemson is incredibly overrated. And if you watched the game that I told you that if you weren’t watching you shouldn’t even read this site, well you know what happened, since you are reading this site. Great Game, right, no it was sloppy, as fuck and Fulmer should be fired today.

Anyway, along with the aforementioned games, I also caught bits and pieces of a number of games, and watched the Michigan game in its entirety. Look, I don’t expect much from Michigan this year, but that O-line was offensive, the defense was put into so many bad situations by the offense that I was impressed that they kept it as close as they did. Michigan will get it somewhat together this season and make a bowl game, but it will be some piece of shit, congrats on winning 6 games bowl.

Much more shocking to me that Michigan’s loss to Utah, was VT’s loss to Eastern Carolina. That is pathetic. Once again VT’s offense looks completely out of sorts. I swear that this team is under the curse of Mike Vick. Have they had a decent QB since Vick? And, 80% of the time, the better QB wins college football games. VT wins with D and ST’s, if they ever get a QB who can move the chains they will be scary.

4 – Raider Stuff

The Raiders signed a punter to the practice squad…WHAT THE FUCK, the practice squad is for getting players who are a little rough around the edges a little more work with the team so that they can potentially develop into an NFL player. A punter needs an open field and a bag of balls to practice.

Now some may say that the practice squad is for giving the 1st teams some looks in practice. So what is the purpose of keeping a punter on the squad? If you need to get some extra works fielding kicks, use a juggs machine, every team has two or three of them hanging around.

No the only reason that is at all reasonable for the Raiders to have kept Glenn Pakulak on the squad is if they are extremely concerned with Lechler’s health, and want someone at the ready should Shane be unable to answer the bell. However you look at it, a punter on the practice squad is not a good thing.

5 – More Raider Stuff

Ashley Lelie, Chad Jackson, this is what happens when you put all your eggs in one basket, and that basket happens to be Javon Walker. The Raiders could have spent the money in the off-season that they spent on Javon to bring in 2-3 other receivers with better talent/heads than either Lelie or Jackson and had them on the roster all off season. Instead the Raiders are now picking up other teams trash again, desperately trying to field a competent roster of WR’s.

I’ll tell you the truth; I would rather that the Raiders just went with the youngsters already on the squad. I would much rather try to develop one of the unknowns already on the Raider’s squad, than sign some guy who is already a known turd.

6 – What is the point of the beach if there is nothing to look at?

Look, there aren’t a lot of beaches here in Pittsburgh. We have a shortage of ocean around here. And have you looked at the three rivers lately? Not exactly the kind of water you want to dip your toes in.

But go to the beach is what the lovely Mrs. Brick wanted to do for Memorial Day. Fortunately there is a state park nearby with a little man made stretch of sand where you can lay out and take a dip in some relatively fresh water. Plus since it is a State Park there were plenty of trails to hike before we went to the beach, so at least I wouldn’t be bored out of my mind the whole day.

But there was a huge problem when we got to the beach. There wasn’t one decent piece of ass to be seen. What the fuck am I going to do at the beach if I can’t spend my time staring at some strange. I may not be able to touch, but there better be something to look at if I am going to go to a beach.

There was one girl on the whole beach that caught my attention, and she never got off of her blanket, there was no way to properly assess her assets. What a waste of an afternoon, I was forced to pay attention to my wife. (Its probably a good thing my wife never reads this blog anymore, between random hottie pictures, and this post I could be in trouble).

7 – NASCAR and Baseball, good-bye losers.

Both of these Sports have a major problem; they both start to get interesting (well relatively so) right about this time of year. And you know what else happens this time of year, that’s right, FOOTBALL MOTHERFUCKERS.

NASCAR has this stupid chase for the championship that they have tried to force on us the last couple years, in some wasted attempt to add the thrill of playoffs to their last 10 races. Sorry it isn’t working. I like NASCAR, going to races is great, turning on a race on a Sunday afternoon and sleeping through it, is one of the great things to do after a busy weekend, or to get rid of a hang over. But NASCAR needs to face the facts; they have nothing else to offer me as of next week. The rest of the season is meaningless, as nobody will be watching.

Baseball is even sadder. It used to be the pennant chase was the lead story. Hell, baseball ruled into October. But baseball is now worthless. Every year it is the same 5 contenders, and then 3 random teams who have managed to overcome the inequities of the system to actually contend for one season before being dismantled because the team cannot afford the salaries.

So here we are, the time of the year when Baseball should be King, and you know if Brett Favre stubs his toe on Tuesday, baseball will be relegated to the 3rd or 4th story mid week, let alone on the weekend when there is actual football being played. It has been quite a fall from America’s pastime to America’s past.