Tuesday, September 2, 2008

7 Things are better than 10 - Labor Day

I need more 3 day weekends, not so much because I make better use of my time, (although sleeping on the couch all day Sunday isn’t as bad when you have Monday to make up for lost time), but so that I can look forward to only going to work four days each week.

But there is a downfall to 4-day weeks. How am I going to get all of my regular Brickinthebox columns out, along with finishing my NFL season preview prior to the season starting. I’ll tell you how, by doing less work at work and more blogging, and by starting right now with 7 things you already knew, but I’m going to tell you again anyway:

1 – Sex Sells

At least I hope it does. I keep looking at these other successful blog sites and asking myself “why is this site successful” and the answer comes down to two things, tits. Yep both the left and the right one, that’s two things.

Sure I’m not as funny as some sites, my analysis is usually off base and incredibly bias, but that can’t be why I am not getting as many hits. It has to be the lack of pictures of random hot chicks in varius stages of undress. So from here on out we will be adding random pictures of barely dressed women to random posts, starting with this one.

You’re welcome.

2 – Brett Keisel is a god damn star.

OK, if you aren’t a Steeler fan you might not even know who this guy is. I was vaguely aware of him heading into this season. But he is a 3-4 DE, his job isn’t to collect eye catching stats, it is to collect blocks to allow the LB’s to reign havoc upon the offense. This is something that Keisel does well, but it isn’t anything that will get a stadium to go nuts at the mention of your name.

So Thursday night when I was at the Preseason crap fest between the Steelers and Panthers I was shocked to hear the Steelers Faithful go nuts when Keisel was introduced. I thought to myself, wow I know this is a good city for football knowledge, but I figure this kind of response would be saved for the Jersey sellers, and Polamalu’s response did blow Keisel’s out of the water, as did Bettis just being on the sideline.

Then the truth hit me. Pittsburgh is no more appreciative of their blue collar players than any other team. Brett Keisel is a star in Pittsburgh for a reason completely unrelated to his play on the field. Brett Keisel is a dancer. Yeah, you heard that right, a dancer. When the Steelers play their pump up the crowd music leading up to the opening kickoff (the OH OH OHOH OH song) the image of Brett jumping back and forth dancing to the music fills the high def jumbotron.

Some days I love the city of Pittsburgh, others, I wonder if there is anyone home.

3 – College Football is Back

Well if you watched my 1 game to watch this week, you saw that there definitely is some young talent on that Alabama squad, and Clemson is incredibly overrated. And if you watched the game that I told you that if you weren’t watching you shouldn’t even read this site, well you know what happened, since you are reading this site. Great Game, right, no it was sloppy, as fuck and Fulmer should be fired today.

Anyway, along with the aforementioned games, I also caught bits and pieces of a number of games, and watched the Michigan game in its entirety. Look, I don’t expect much from Michigan this year, but that O-line was offensive, the defense was put into so many bad situations by the offense that I was impressed that they kept it as close as they did. Michigan will get it somewhat together this season and make a bowl game, but it will be some piece of shit, congrats on winning 6 games bowl.

Much more shocking to me that Michigan’s loss to Utah, was VT’s loss to Eastern Carolina. That is pathetic. Once again VT’s offense looks completely out of sorts. I swear that this team is under the curse of Mike Vick. Have they had a decent QB since Vick? And, 80% of the time, the better QB wins college football games. VT wins with D and ST’s, if they ever get a QB who can move the chains they will be scary.

4 – Raider Stuff

The Raiders signed a punter to the practice squad…WHAT THE FUCK, the practice squad is for getting players who are a little rough around the edges a little more work with the team so that they can potentially develop into an NFL player. A punter needs an open field and a bag of balls to practice.

Now some may say that the practice squad is for giving the 1st teams some looks in practice. So what is the purpose of keeping a punter on the squad? If you need to get some extra works fielding kicks, use a juggs machine, every team has two or three of them hanging around.

No the only reason that is at all reasonable for the Raiders to have kept Glenn Pakulak on the squad is if they are extremely concerned with Lechler’s health, and want someone at the ready should Shane be unable to answer the bell. However you look at it, a punter on the practice squad is not a good thing.

5 – More Raider Stuff

Ashley Lelie, Chad Jackson, this is what happens when you put all your eggs in one basket, and that basket happens to be Javon Walker. The Raiders could have spent the money in the off-season that they spent on Javon to bring in 2-3 other receivers with better talent/heads than either Lelie or Jackson and had them on the roster all off season. Instead the Raiders are now picking up other teams trash again, desperately trying to field a competent roster of WR’s.

I’ll tell you the truth; I would rather that the Raiders just went with the youngsters already on the squad. I would much rather try to develop one of the unknowns already on the Raider’s squad, than sign some guy who is already a known turd.

6 – What is the point of the beach if there is nothing to look at?

Look, there aren’t a lot of beaches here in Pittsburgh. We have a shortage of ocean around here. And have you looked at the three rivers lately? Not exactly the kind of water you want to dip your toes in.

But go to the beach is what the lovely Mrs. Brick wanted to do for Memorial Day. Fortunately there is a state park nearby with a little man made stretch of sand where you can lay out and take a dip in some relatively fresh water. Plus since it is a State Park there were plenty of trails to hike before we went to the beach, so at least I wouldn’t be bored out of my mind the whole day.

But there was a huge problem when we got to the beach. There wasn’t one decent piece of ass to be seen. What the fuck am I going to do at the beach if I can’t spend my time staring at some strange. I may not be able to touch, but there better be something to look at if I am going to go to a beach.

There was one girl on the whole beach that caught my attention, and she never got off of her blanket, there was no way to properly assess her assets. What a waste of an afternoon, I was forced to pay attention to my wife. (Its probably a good thing my wife never reads this blog anymore, between random hottie pictures, and this post I could be in trouble).

7 – NASCAR and Baseball, good-bye losers.

Both of these Sports have a major problem; they both start to get interesting (well relatively so) right about this time of year. And you know what else happens this time of year, that’s right, FOOTBALL MOTHERFUCKERS.

NASCAR has this stupid chase for the championship that they have tried to force on us the last couple years, in some wasted attempt to add the thrill of playoffs to their last 10 races. Sorry it isn’t working. I like NASCAR, going to races is great, turning on a race on a Sunday afternoon and sleeping through it, is one of the great things to do after a busy weekend, or to get rid of a hang over. But NASCAR needs to face the facts; they have nothing else to offer me as of next week. The rest of the season is meaningless, as nobody will be watching.

Baseball is even sadder. It used to be the pennant chase was the lead story. Hell, baseball ruled into October. But baseball is now worthless. Every year it is the same 5 contenders, and then 3 random teams who have managed to overcome the inequities of the system to actually contend for one season before being dismantled because the team cannot afford the salaries.

So here we are, the time of the year when Baseball should be King, and you know if Brett Favre stubs his toe on Tuesday, baseball will be relegated to the 3rd or 4th story mid week, let alone on the weekend when there is actual football being played. It has been quite a fall from America’s pastime to America’s past.

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