7 Things are better than 10 - Kick Off Weekend

7 things is a day late this week for two reasons, 1 the Raiders played Monday night so the new week didn’t officially start until today, and 2 this was an incredibly shitty week, and yesterday I had no internet for most of the day. Anyway, I’m not going to bitch about my life here, at least not for another paragraph or two, so on with the show.

1 – I suck at picking games

Or at least you think I do. I picked 7 games in my last column, and of those I got right 2 (at least I think New Orleans covered, I’m not checking right now). But there were mitigating factors:

- Those weren’t my locks; those were the games I went into the weekend planning to watch. For my locks of the week I was a perfect 9 for 9, at least as far as you know.
- Never, and I mean NEVER, pick your favorite teams game. I obviously had some rose colored glasses on when I picked the Raiders to beat Denver.
- Its week 1, everyone’s picks suck week 1.

2 – I am a Hater

You know I have continued to lie to myself and to you, my reader, about how I respect the Patriots, I enjoy watching them play football at the highest level. I admit rooting for the underdog, but its not the team I cannot stand, it is the Fans.

I was wrong. I shouted for joy when Andrew Siciliano cut to the Pats game for breaking news and it was Tom Brady lying on his back in pain. Then they showed the replay and I jumped again. It had finally happened, the Pats streak of incredible luck since the Snow Job had ended. Andrew Siciliano, in his gravest, most serious voice, a voice reserved for the assassination of presidents, said “Tom Brady Limped off the Field”.

I joyfully grabbed my laptop, logged on to the fantasy football sire where I was playing a Pats fan that had Brady as his QB and typed in my new team name:

“Tom Brady Limped off the Field”.

I am a Hater after all.

3 – Hey Assholes it is only week 1

I am so fucking sick of listening to fucking retards go on an on about how their team is either going to the Super Bowl, or will be on the clock in January based on their week 1 performance.

Dear Dipshits, there are 15 games left, plenty of ACL’s will be blown out as they are played over the course of the next 4 months. So as we remember that the Super Bowl winners from last season were blown out, lets also remember the following.
- Beating the hapless Dolphins does not mean that the Jets are any better for trading for Favre. They are still a 7-9 to 9-7 team, just like with Pennington. The only difference is now that Brady is down they may be able to slip into a wild card spot with an extra win.

- Michael Turner is not going to set a new NFL rushing record, he played the Lions.

- Kansas City staying within 7 of New England does not mean that they are an improved team. It means that Brady blew out his ACL. (Ok I admit, I just wanted to type that again).

- The Bears are not back, the Colts are not falling apart, and the Titans, well hold up with Vince Young hurt and having emotional issues, maybe the Titans could win some games. Maybe you can learn something from week 1.

4 – Even when the Games suck, college football fuckin rocks

I didn’t post a 1 game to watch column last week, as there were time constraints, and there really wasn’t a match-up that was that great from a looking at NFL talent standpoint. So I skipped it. And I also agreed to go with my wife to the new outlet mall Saturday Morning. Which meant I got the following call from my neighbor.

Auburn - “DUDE, why aren’t you over here watching football”

Brick - “I’m at the new outlets with my wife”

Auburn - “DO you know what the score of the Ohio St. Ohio game is.”?

Brick - “I’m guessing that Ohio St. is losing if you called me”

Auburn - “Fuck yeah, how did you get roped into going to the outlet Mall”

Brick - “I didn’t want to go tomorrow when the NFL kicks off”

Auburn - “Ummmm…. My wife wants to know if the Mall is any good, she wants us to go there tomorrow, I hate you”

That is what he gets for calling me to gloat that he is watching football when I obviously am not. He can see my driveway from the chair he watches the game in, so he knows damn well that I am being tortured in some way if my truck is not there on a College or Pro Football game day.

So I missed the Ohio vs. Ohio St match up until I got into my car as Ohio St returned a kickoff or punt, what ever. But I still got home in time to see San Diego St. almost nock off ND, and Florida get all they could handle from a rebuilding Miami squad for a half, plus a little hand job action in Texas. Not bad for starting the day at an outlet mall.

5 – Some People do not have the Red Zone Channel

You stupid fucks, that is what you get for settling for cable. Every time I get a call from a cable company offering some great deal to sign up with them I ask them 1 question.

Do you have Sunday Ticket?

I have had a number of different responses, never an outright no. There have been offers to check into that, to put me through to an advisor, and an outright lie of “yes, Verizon Fios comes with Sunday Ticket, should I sign you up?”

And being the incredibly friendly guy that I am, I usually tell them not to call back until the cable company gets Sunday Ticket, and for my lying friend, I wasted his time for at least 15 minutes asking if I would get certain match-ups with Verizon’s Sunday Ticket, since I knew I would get them with Direct TV.

But the best part of the Sunday Ticket, with Free Super Fan Package just for logging a random complaint and asking for the cancellation department when my incredibly unreasonable demand wasn’t met, is the Red Zone Channel. I didn’t have to wait for a break in the action for the CBS to break into the Steelers game to show me Tom Brady going down (yep forced it in again), The Red Zone channel switch me over in time to see him still lying on the field. Matt Ryan’s 1st NFL completion for TD, saw it before it posted on ESPN’s Fantasy tracker.

Yeah, if you don’t have the NFL Sunday Ticket with Super Fan package, you pretty much suck at life.

6 – Yeah, the Raiders

I think I just vomited in my mouth; well that is what went through my mind a number of times last night.

I put this one off as long as possible, because they sucked out loud last night. I could make some excuses, because the officiating was horseshit, but even if the game had been called well, the Bronco’s still would have won handily. So lets just get some quick hits out of the way, and maybe I’ll break down a player later.

RunDMC, you know how I questioned his vision; yeah that is why he is running into the backs of his blockers all the time. I have no doubt if he were to ever get the ball out in space he might be special, but right now he is Reggie Bush part 2, which isn’t that bad, it just isn’t worth a top 5 pick. If you are lucky, in a few years he turns into Brian Westbrook, but that will be incredibly lucky.

Me Angelo Hall, put another one on the board for good old brick, too bad this is one that I hate getting right.

D-Russ, not bad rook, too bad you wasted last season so you could take the same contract that was on the table in April after missing training camp. Because I can’t wait to see how you look after two training camps.

Ehh, enough negativity, lets move on to some thing more fun.

7 – Solomon Wilcots has a job for what reason?

Anyone else catch at least part of the Titans vs. Jags match-up? Anyone else notice the constant excuses made for Vince Young by Solomon? There is one of two things going on here. Either these two are sucking each other off, or Solomon likes Vince because he is black.

Because no white hetero sexual QB will ever get the kind of ball washing despite a horrid performance that Young got from Wilcots last weekend.

That’s right, I am pulling the race card. Its time that white boys pull it with reckless abandon. There is a 50% chance of a black man being president. So that means everything must finally be equal. So race card, come to PAPA.

Solomon Wilcots, you are a racist. If Vince Young was not a black man who enjoyed giving you blow jobs during the pregame interviews you would not be lavishing such praise upon his pathetic ass…

Hmm rereading that, maybe Solomon Wilcots is just gay, and there is nothing wrong with that, so long as you don’t allow it to interfere with your work.

Preseason SuperStars

Robert Meachem is going to be a star in the NFL. How do I know this, the former 1st round draft pick torched the Cardinals 3rd string in last nights preseason game. The injuries and poor work habits are behind him, the one year wonder label attached to him in the draft has been ripped away. Once he lines up across from Colston and with Shockey in the line-up the Saints will be unstoppable.

Wow, that paragraph looks pretty ridicules when you read it doesn’t it. But it isn’t that far off from the kind of thing you are going to read and here in the coming weeks as the NFL preseason hits full stride.

This morning on the Sirius Blitz, Brickinthebox whipping boys Adam Schein and Solomon Wilcots expressed how they knew this kind of breakout was coming based on what they had learned from talking to Saints players and staff this off-season. Never mind a week ago when Wilcots was at Saints training camp he made a point of not mentioning Meachem when discussing the Saints outstanding depth at WR.

Meachem wasn’t the only player to gain the attention of the media and fans last night. In the New England / Baltimore game Lamont Jordan had a good night for him. Leading the aforementioned windbags to transition from their Meachem praise to talking about what a great fit Lamont is in New England. Lets remember one thing before we hand Lamont the comeback player of the year award, you give a RB that you are sure of the rock almost 20 times in a preseason game.

And while we are on the subject of the Pats / Ravens game, a couple Raiders sites I frequent are abuzz with the performance of Fabian Washington in that game. He came away with two picks. Before you get your dander up over the Raiders letting Washington get away, look at whom he did this against. It wasn’t Brady, Moss and Welker. It was Matt Cassel and Gutierrez. With the kind of pressure the Ravens bring, Washington better look good against these scrubs.

Which brings me to the point of this posting. As we watch these preseason games, you need to take everything with a grain of salt. Next to no game planning goes into the 1st two games. The Raiders haven’t put in special protections for the Niner’s 3-4. The Raiders defense hasn’t spent time studying the Martz offense. Sure they practiced against each other a couple days ago, so they have a better feel for the opponent then most teams do going into the 1st game of the preseason. But it is going to be base offense and defense calls.

So enjoy finally getting to watch you team this weekend, it has been Seven long months since we could enjoy any form of NFL football. But don’t put much stock into how a player looks this week, especially if they are playing after the 1st two series. Look for solid fundamentals, and pray for no injuries. At this point that is all that can truly be taken from these games. Wins and losses don’t matter and stat lines are meaningless. You are getting to see players take a mid-term exam during the learning season. Finals won’t be for a few weeks.

Brett Favre, Adam Schein & Solomon Wilcots

We take a break from laughing at the fans of other AFC west franchises to add our thoughts on the whole Brett Favre circus.

I didn’t write a Brett Favre eulogy when he retired this season. I was tied up with other things, and if there is one thing we have learned in the past 5 years about Favre is that he never really makes up his mind.

If you can get passed the media’s constant ball-washing you have to admit that Favre is a hell of a player. Detractors love to point out the high number of interceptions, but when you are forced to pass as often as the Packers have been in the past few years, you are bound to have some passes go awry.

But even if he is a hell of a player, you have to admit that this whole clusterfuck of a retirement is a joke. He has played this game with the team and the Packer fans every off-season for the past 5 years. It is long past time for Favre to step up to the plate and make a decision. Sure it is hard to walk off into the sunset, but he owes that much to the team and the fans that have supported him all these years.

At this time Favre, IMO, is simply being selfish and putting himself before the team. But with the way he has been treated by the media for the last 15 years, what else would you expect. This guy is used to being treated as a God. He is used to being held to a different set of standards from everyone else. It is no wonder he can’t quietly step away from the limelight, or do right by others.

OK, enough of the Favre centric stuff, I can no longer put off ripping Adam Schein and Solomon Wilcots and their show on Sirius NFL radio.

These two windbags are the worst pairing that NFL radio puts on the air. As I type this Schein is ripping Favre for not having the guts to come out and say what is on his mind. That he wants to play football in 2008, just not for the Packers.

This is something that Schien and Wilcots have presented as fact for most of the broadcast today. All of the sudden they have some insight on the inner workings of Brett Favre’s mind. It must be nice to be so clarvoient.

What is particulary disturbing is this pair loves to rip their callers when they don’t come with facts, despite the FACT that they rarely get theirs right.

Earlier this broadcast Wilcots was claiming that the Packers would have to cut multiple players in order to bring Favre back onto the roster. I sent an email in asking him to back this up with Facts earlier, but he has now dropped that argument when callers bring up Farve returning to Green Bay. Why, because he was talking out his ass once again. The Packers are near the top of the league when it comes to cap space, and bringing Farve back would only result in one of the young QB’s they drafted this year to hit the streets.

Schien’s FACT that Favre wants to come back, but not to the Packers, is hardly a FACT, no matter how loud he yells it. It is merely his opinion, and as usual Wilcots agrees whole-heartedly, since he rarely has a coherent thought of his own.

You have to love the way these two treat a rumor from Chris Mortenson as FACT on their program. These two yell FACT at the top of their lungs so often, but cannot distinguish fact from rumor. As long as it gets printed somewhere it is fact in their minds. It doesn’t matter that Mort had nobody willing to comment on the record, or that Favre laughed the report off as rumor.

You have to love how the two of them yell how this is the worst thing that could happen to the Packers and is a huge distraction, but quickly retreat from this point when Al Harris comes on and reminds them that they are professionals and that it isn’t a distraction. (Of course after the fact Schein claims that a “healthy argument” was had with Harris, when he actually scrambled until he could find a point that he and Harris could agree on, only after Harris was off the line could Schein find the balls to out and out disagree with Harris on the distraction issue.)

Schein’s yelling he doesn’t have the guts over and over is particularly humorous coming from the gutless wonder. Schein’s specialty is to rip players then insert their balls into his mouth when they come on the air. Scheins only experience with Balls/guts comes from sucking them, not having them.

This is hardly a one-day thing with these two; I enjoy NFL radio for the most part. I am about 50/50 between listening to NFL radio and Stern in the morning, and I listen to NFL radio almost daily from 3pm on. But I cringe when I hear Shein’s gravely voice introduce himself and Wilcots. Schein isn’t as bad when he has an intelligent partner to work with (Jim Miller for example), but even then he tends to lose it on callers who don’t agree with him. Often taking exception with part of an argument so far off the point that you forget what the call was about. (But don’t worry; after he hangs up with you, he will refer to your call outstanding as they head to break.) But when you pair Schein with Wilcots it quickly turns into a contest to see who can compliment the other more, and yell louder when someone disagrees with their opinion.

Sirius made the right 1st step by demoting this pair from their prime afternoon drive slot, it is time for them to take the next step, and get this pair off the airwaves. Their act has gotten old, and reflects poorly on what otherwise is an outstanding product.