Thursday, March 13, 2008

2008 - Brickinthebox Mock-Draft - Denver, I smell a rat

Brickinthebox is live on tape delay from an Indianapolis bar across the street from the NFL combine. We secretly taped the conversations that occurred between ourselves and NFL bigwigs to gain some incredible insight into the NFL draft, which we are sharing here with our reader. Warning – Spoilers ahead.

It may have been the frustration of trying to have a conversation where we talked 1990’s Buffalo Bills in conjunction with the draft, or it could have just been the lunch rush, but it seemed like it was taking forever to get our order and Romeo was getting visibly disturbed. My attention was taken away from the door as the beads of sweat forming on Romeo’s brow began to consume my attention, so I didn’t even see our next guest come in. Than again, he may have just scurried in under the door.

Mike Shanahan – Romeo, how are things in Cleveland, hehehehe

Romeo – hello Mike, have you given up on all my cast-offs yet?

Shanahan – I got more out of them than you ever could. You may have had a better season last year, but need I remind you… Brady Quinn, hehehehe

Romeo – you are a real piece of shit, you know that right.

Shanahan – hehehehehe

Marv - Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.

Shanahan – 4 straight superbowl losses, that must sting huh Marv hehehehe

Marv – well we are still the team to beat in the AFC, although you are building a nice team around John.

Shanahan – So I know Romeo, I know Marv, who are you (addressing me)

Brick – names Brick, I’m here studying NFL coaches, I’ve found that most can be compared to members of the animal kingdom, you could pass for a rat.

Shanahan – Raider fan huh, TIME OUT, hehehehe

The waiter shows up.

Sorry for the delay gentlemen, things are all backed up in the kitchen, is there something I can get you Sir (addressing Shanahan)

Shanahan – how about a cheese platter.

Romeo, Marv and I all crack up laughing
Shanahan – cheese, yeh, Rat, I know, hehehehe

Romeo – at least you don’t try to hide it,

Brick – So is the team going to under perform for you again this year.


Romeo – settle down Alice, your going to get us all kicked out of here, you know how restaurants hate rodents.

Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.

Shanahan – Wide Right, hehehehehe

Marv starts to weep a little

Marv – we worked so hard that year, I thought we were going to beat the Giants, but we can’t pin that all on Scott, it was a team loss.

Shanahan – hehehehehe

Brick – you are a real ass

Shanahan – Oh, I’m just having a little fun with the old man, have you told him that he was fired

Marv stares blankly at Shanahan

Romeo – ignore him Marv, he is just bitter that without John he’ll never amount to anything.

Marv – what happened to John?

Brick – nothing, Romeo is just pointing out how important he is to the team, So Mike, what are the Broncos looking to do in this years draft?

Shanahan – well its no secret, we need to find some more weapons for Jay

Marv – John?

Shanahan – yeah , more weapons for John, our oline is aging but we find our guys later in the draft, and in the secondary we could use some safety help and you can never have enough dlineman.
Marv – well you should be able to target a receiver like Malcolm Kelly or DeSean Jackson or a safety like Kenny Philips at your slot, I think the value won’t be there at D tackle for you.

Shanahan stares blankly at Marv

Brick – yeah, its 1994 with 2008 draft picks, its giving me a headache.

Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.

Shanahan (visibly shaken) yeah, if Kenny Philips is there, I don’t see us passing on him, either WR would be nice, but the draft is deep there and I can get one in round 2. I think I’m going to excuse myself.

Romeo – don’t let the door hit you on the way out asshole.

Shanahan (composing himself, looks at Romeo) Brady Quinn (looks at Marv) WIDE RIGHT, (looks at me) 2 division wins in the last 3 years…HEHEHEHEHE

And with that he scurried out of the bar, once again, I didn’t even see the door open.

Marv – poor Scott, he’ll never live that kick down.

Romeo – That sucka is a rat.

Brickinthebox mock draft:

1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Keith Rivers, LB, USC
10. New Orleans Saints - Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
11. Buffalo Bills – Sedric Ellis, DT, USC
12. Denver Broncos - Kenny Philips, S, Miami

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