Brickinthebox is live on tape delay from an Indianapolis bar across the street from the NFL combine. We secretly taped the conversations that occurred between ourselves and NFL bigwigs to gain some incredible insight into the NFL draft, which we are sharing here with our reader. Warning – Spoilers ahead.
Thankfully, Marv’s nurse showed up right after the Rat left. So after introducing ourselves again, Romeo and I said our goodbyes to Marv. Romeo then launched into another Anti-Brady Quinn diatribe that thankfully was cut short by the waiter showing up with the orders for Marv, Shanahan and Romeo. Romeo assured the waiter that the others would return, and then happily started digging into all three meals. It was then that I spotted John Fox sitting alone at the bar. I don’t even think Romeo noticed that I left the table; he was too consumed with the spread in front of him.
Brick – is this seat taken?
Fox – No, you can sit there.
Brick – You’re John Fox right?
Fox – Yeah, wow this is the 1st time someone has recognized me outside of Charlotte.
Brick – well I guess I watch too much football. So how is the combine going?
Fox – As good as can be expected. We are stuck in the middle of round 1; the value just isn’t there this year. We are going to miss out on the top 5 guys, and overpay for someone who is should be drafted at the end of round 1.
Brick – yeah, I’ve heard that about this year’s draft, there just isn’t much value in the middle of round 1.
Fox – you’re telling me, through in the fact that every year we are picked by pundits to go back to the Super Bowl, and I’m starting to worry about my job.
Brick – well on paper your team constantly looks like the best in the South, what do you think has been the problem?
Fox – My QB can’t stay healthy, I had two running backs that can’t carry the load, I only have one wide receiver that can actually catch, and on defense other than Peppers, who would start anywhere else.
Brick – So I guess you could go just about anywhere with your pick. Although you seem to have locked up your two offensive tackles, so I can’t see you taking one of them. How about corner, you could go with Rodgers-Cromartie or McKelvin.
Fox – I like Rodgers-Cromartie’s potential, but he is very raw, you don’t think that Mike Jenkins will be there?
Brick – New Orleans seems to be resigned to take him.
Fox – Payton must be back in Parcells’ back pocket.
Brick – well you could upgrade the running back position, Mendenhall, Jones and Stewart could all be there.
Fox – yeah, but I’m just not sold on any of them being able to carry the load, they all played in college systems that don’t translate to the pro game. It would be like paying more for what we just got rid of. That’s really not an upgrade.
Brick – good point, I guess you could go wide receiver; Kelly, Jackson or Hardy could all be there for you.
Fox – I don’t like Kelly, I have enough guys with hands of stone, DeShawn would be a Steve Smith clone, and while he would help in the return game, you don’t want to run the smurfs out onto the field. Hardy is raw, but could be a real red zone threat for us while he learns the system.
Brick – so it sounds like your choice is coming down to Rodgers-Cromartie or James Hardy.
Fox – Yeah, I guess it is, god I hope someone slips or we can trade down, neither of them is going to be much help this year, and that could cost me my job. Both of them will most likely take two or three years to develop.
Brick – so lets say that you can’t trade down, who would you, take?
Fox – Well I’m going to assume that the front office gets both Moose and Alge signed to shore up the offense, and say that I’ll take my chances on Cromartie. Hopefully he can hold his own in spot duty this year and give us an occasional lift.
Brick – thanks for the insight Mr. Fox, I have one last question for you.
Fox – shoot
Brick – are you sure you’re an NFL coach? You just seem too…normal.
Fox – Yeah it’s a strange business, you just have to do what you can to get buy.
Brick – well, thank you for your time, good luck this season.
Fox – thanks, I’ll need it.
With that I excused myself and headed back over to my table. Where Romeo was finishing the cheese platter.
Romeo – Saw you talking to Foxy, he is a strange one.
Brick – really? he seemed normal to me.
Romeo – Oh no, not Foxy, he is one strange bird, he love to be dominated, there were pictures of him from before the Super Bowl where he had a ball gag in his mouth and…
Brick – OK, I really don’t care
Romeo – Oh and there was that time in Thailand when we double…
Brick – Fine, he’s a freak. You happy?
Romeo – look sucka, don’t get uppity with me since you like that fool.
Brickinthebox mock draft:
1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Keith Rivers, LB, USC
10. New Orleans Saints - Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
11. Buffalo Bills – Sedrick Ellis, DT, USC
12. Denver Broncos - Kenny Philips, S, Miami
13. Carolina Panthers – D. Rodgers-Cromartie, CB, Tenn. St