Monday, December 15, 2008

7 Things are better than 10 - Walt Coleman as the Grinch

Well, look at that, I have some time to waste, and a blank word document in front of me. Might as well type out a couple pages and see if we get to me having Seven things, because Seven is better than Ten, but something is better than nothing.

1 – How the Fuck is Walt Coleman still employed by the NFL

Walt proved once again yesterday that he has no clue what the words “indisputable visual evidence” mean. IMO, to be an NFL official, you should have a firm grasp on those three words, as at some time you will be required to put your head into the replay booth and make a call that will determine the end of a game.

As a Raider fan, I have been here before with Walt. It seems like ages ago that I froze my ass off in a blizzard and saw the Raiders lose a game to the Patriots. It wasn’t until I sobered up the next day and checked my voicemail that I had any clue as to the call and subsequent reversal. Sure I knew it looked like Brady fumbled, and that the call was overturned. But I could not hear the words “tuck rule” in the stadium, and had no clue that the Raiders had been hosed.

That day, much like yesterday, Walt Coleman was the head official, who poked his head into the replay booth and made an egregious error.

Was the Tuck rule the right call? Who the fuck knows, but there is ample room for debate, it sure as hell looks like Brady touched the ball with his free hand in one angle, thus “tucking” the ball. But it is up for debate.

Was the touchdown for the Steelers the right call, well as an impartial witness, I can’t say for sure that the ball was or wasn’t touching the goal line when Holmes secured it. Once again there is room for debate.

And that is where “indisputable visual evidence” come into play. If there is room for debate, there is no way the call on the field should be overturned. But every week, some NFL official goes into the replay booth, and comes away changing a play that is very much in dispute. The thing is, Coleman has become notorious for this, and just being an overall poor official.

If he has not learned the meaning of “indisputable visual evidence” in the seven years since the Snow Job, than he is unfit to be an official, and should be handed his walking papers.

2 – More on NFL officiating

Maybe I am becoming more aware of it as I grow older, but the NFL officiating seems to be getting worse every year. Maybe the game is just getting faster, and these guys just can’t keep up, but I think it has more to do with a lack of accountability from the league.

Example #1 from yesterday is obviously the Walt Coleman debacle, but he was hardly alone.

Late in the 4th quarter the lowly 49ers were driving on the Dolphins. Facing 4th down, and needing a touchdown the Niners went for it. Joey Porter blew past the RT and sacked the QB, game over… and then in an incredible display of stupidity Porter jumped up and tossed his helmet across the field. This should have been a 15-yard unsportsmanlike, and perhaps a 1st down for the Niners. Instead there was no call. How the fuck do you miss that one?

Needless to say, I could go on and on, but why bother. You can scream about this stuff until your voice gets horse, and Ed Ferera will just go on NFL Network and claim all is well.

3 – D-IA (or whatever you want to call it) Gets it right
Did you check out the Playoff Subdivision playoffs this weekend. If you didn’t please turn in you football fan card on your way out. The gameplay and officiating may not have been spectacular, but the tension and atmosphere blew away the majority of Bowl games, as it does every year.

The results are inconsequential, since average Joe football fan doesn’t seem to care. I can’t wait to watch the number 5 seed take on the number 7 seed next weekend. And I wish that more football fans would follow my lead. Because one thing that would impress the powers that be in big time college football would be huge rating numbers for the lesser division’s championship game.

If Montana vs. East Bumfuck could garnish a huge rating (I.E. huge money) those money grubbing bastards who steadfastly refuse to dump the antiquated bowl system may have a change of heart.

4 – If there is a personnel Hell for everyone, I know what mine will be

I got dragged to the Mall this weekend, not once, but twice. Both Friday night and Saturday afternoon I found myself in a Mall. I hate the Mall. Not just at Christmas time, but all year long. However that hate grows ten-fold in the weeks following Thanksgiving.

If I were the kind of person who believed in Heaven and Hell, I know for sure what my personal Hades would look like. There would be no fire and brimstone; it would be my own groundhog day, where I spent eternity wandering a Mall during Christmas season.

5 – Read a book

How do I know when I am really enjoying a book? I read it at times other when I am hanging a root. Well I picked up a book this weekend that grabbed me immediately, and other than watching football, I haven’t put down.

“I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” by Tucker Max is fucking awesome. So many of the stories remind me of those lost college and early professional years when my entire life revolved around getting drunk and laid. If you can read this and not relate to some of the stories, well then you have lead a boring life, and I feel sorry for you.

6 – The Raiders Suck

Once again I faithfully turned my TV to the Raider game at 4:15 Sunday. Once again the team lowered my expectations.

A coach once said that the Raiders “must be the stupidest team in the NFL” this remark lead him to become a pariah amongst the fans, and hastened his exit from the team. Too bad that looking back on the last 6 years, he looks more like a prophet than an imbecile.

7 – I got nothing

No Seventh thing, I need to get back to work.

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