Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Fantasy Bullshit wrap-up

I'm not going to lie, reading about other people's fantasy football is boring as fuck. I could give two shits about your fantasy team in some league I’m not involved in. So I don’t blame you if you just skip over this item, and read my bitching about some other subject. But, since I committed to giving props on this blog to the winner of one league, I’ll keep my word and post a few lines here.

You may remember from the last 7 things column before I took a holiday break that I told you not to fuck with the Thomlinson/ Brady combo. Well going into the finals in 2 of my leagues I was on the wrong side of this combo in 1 and had them starting for me in the other. So I figured at worst I’d be winning 1 of the 2.

Well I took it in the ass in both leagues.

In the money league, I was on the wrong side of the combo. So I was rooting for both players to shit the bed so that I could take home the big payday. Well that didn’t happen as both of them performed right about at their average. So my opponent, we’ll call him lucky fuck, immediately had a huge advantage.

Now this didn’t shock me, and I still felt that I had a puncher’s chance to pull off the win, as I had defeated Lucky Fuck and his deadly combo just a couple of weeks prior to clinch my playoff spot. But no, not only did lucky fuck have the deadly combo performing at their standard level, but he also had Brandon Jacobs and Aaron Stecker put up career days (OK, Stecker was actually better the previous week, but who the hell tracks Aaron Stecker).

So while Lucky Fuck was having his players post huge numbers, my team decided to take an unscheduled bye week. Carson Palmer decided that he already put up enough stats for the year against Cleveland in week 2. Brett Favre decided to have one of those days where he kills his own D by tossing up picks for TD’s. But the one that really pissed me off was Ron Dayne. Now you may be asking yourself, what kind of idiot starts Ron Dayne. Well the Texans had been starting him with success for the previous few weeks. But they gave him the day off against Indy. Then he came back the following week with nothing on the line to put up 17 on a tough Jacksonville run D.

So as I’m sure you figured out by now, Lucky Fuck got the big win. Congrats Lucky Fuck, too bad you can’t keep Brady and Thomlinson next year and you gave up your #2 pick next year for LT, have fun in the basement next year. (No, I’m not bitter).

But even more frustrating was my no-money just for fun league. Here I was the proud owner of the deadly combo. Not only that but I had Maurice Jones-Drew, Jericho Cotchery and the Redskins D putting up huge points for me in what should have been a blowout. But I made a big mistake, what should have been my #2 running back, M. Lynch, and my #2 receiver, D. Bowe, sat on my bench. While Lucky Fuck #2 squeaked out a win riding huge days by Kurt Warner, Brandon Jacobs, Steven Jackson, Braylon Edwards and the Seahawks D.

So I guess the moral of my tale of woe is don’t fuck with the Thomlinson/Brady combo, unless you have Kurt Warner, since god loves him some Kurt Warner.

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