Monday, August 18, 2008

7 Things are better than 10 - Back for 2008

It’s been slow here at Brickinthebox despite the return of football (well at least preseason anyway). Well my excuse (notice I always have one of these) is that I have been traveling. Hell I have been driving 24 of my last 92 hours on this planet. So I guess I haven’t had time for you, my loyal reader.

But hey, my inactivity has given me enough time to come up with some observations, some deep insights, and now I am prepared to share them with you. That’s right it is the return of everyone’s favorite column where I cleverly tell you something you already know.

Seven things are better than ten (go fuck yourself Peter King).

1 – HD TV, how did I ever live without you, you glorious bastard?

In my travels this week I was forced to watch the Raiders vs. Titans without the benefit of my beloved HD and Tivo. I had to time the refilling of my drink or my bathroom breaks with commercials, no pausing the TV. I could not see every individual blade of grass on the field. It was a real nightmare. Honestly, how did man survive all those years without TiVo in HD? While I could see clearly that Vince Young is a complete failure at QB, without the benefit of HD, I didn’t feel that I could taste his salty tears of failure.

I was so relieved when I finally returned home last night that I immediately turned on the Pats at Bucs, just so I could count the beads of sweat on Matt Cassell’s brow, as he watched his career flush down the toilet.

If I ever get divorced, I think I will fight for 2 things; my dog and the HD with TiVo everything else just doesn’t matter.

2 – This goddamn Favre thing just won’t end.

He is having doubts, he feels comfortable in his uniform, and he threw a TD. He takes a shit every morning at 8:15 am. He hates all this attention, but please look at him take a lap, since he is just another player.

Ok, so you already knew that the Favre thing wouldn’t end if you read this blog, I have stated it numerous times. But I continue to be amazed at the number of people who think Favre will actually make a difference in New York, and the amount of press he is getting.

Then there is this from Kissing Suzy Kolber:

Peter King was at the Jets preseason game on Saturday and, of course, his only focus was Favre. Dude was even wearing a green shirt. His first stop was Dustin Keller, to ask him how honored he was to have caught Favre’s first Jets preseason touchdown.

Here at Brickinthebox (along with every other blog on the net) we have joked in the past about how far up Favre’s ass Kings head resides, but this is just asinine. I honestly think that King purchased the new Madden just to jerk it to Favre’s picture on the cover.

3 – What the fuck is wrong with New Jersey

Not only is Peter King from that god-forsaken state, but also the people there have no Idea how to drive. I am speaking in particular about the asshats driving minivans.

Dear Minivan driver, if you are not passing get the fuck out of the passing lane. I spent the better part of an hour Sunday driving through New Jersey following minivans passing no one in the passing lane. They were just out there in case they ever came across someone driving under the speed limit. But hey, at least I got to watch Dora for an hour through their rear windows, oh and laughing at the Rav-4 with spinners driving next to me, who couldn’t seem to find a big enough opening on the right to pass the minivan convoy.

4 – Nothing brings us together like football

I suck at keeping up with old friends. Other than spamming them to check out this site, I am terrible at keeping up with their lives. One of my best friends from College had a son seven months ago; I think I found out three weeks back. I don’t text, I hate talking on the phone, and my email skills are lacking.

But once a year we get together to draft our fantasy football teams. I won’t bore you here with the details of the draft (I need to save some material for another column). But after laughing so hard that it hurt a number of times, I left wondering why the fuck we only get together once a year. And I owe what little contact I still have with these people to Football.

So for the next couple months, as we talk trash via email on a regular basis, I will once again feel close to these old friends. Then football season will end, and I will once again forget half of their names until its time to bring everyone together again next August. I am a sad sad man.

5 – Raiders Stuff

You know I can’t do one of these without discussing the plight of the Raiders. Watching the Titans game without the benefit of HD and Tivo, I was unable to go into the depth I usually do breaking down the game (fear not, I Tivo’ed the game at home and will take a closer look later). But I did manage to come away with a few thoughts.

For all the off-season spending, the Raiders are not appreciably better at their weak points from last season. Special Teams still sucks, so what Higgins had a TD return against San Fran, that shows more how pathetic the Niner’s are. Coverage and return blocking are still weak. The offensive line still requires too much help to stay in when pass blocking, limiting the number of receivers going out. The defensive line still can’t hold its ground, and there is no #1 receiver on the field.

The Raiders are still going to have trouble stopping the run, they are still going to see 8 in the box as the receivers worry no one, and Jamarcus will run for his life every time he drops back to pass.

Sure the starting defense looked good Sunday, but that was more due to Tennessee trying to pass with Vince Young at QB, and the only receiving core sadder than the Raiders. The Raiders are better than last year, but it is going to be a long season.

6 – Remember when you were good at stupid stuff

I used to be scary good at Darts. Not much of a life skill, but I could go to bars and win myself free drinks for much of the night, as suckers stepped up, and got their asses kicked. It wasn’t rare for me to close out a game of Cricket in 3-4 rounds.

Well Saturday night after the draft, I was more than happy to actually play some darts. I stepped up to the line, and the darts fluttered like a Philip Rivers deep ball. Rarely hitting the mark. Sure there was the occasional shot that drew praise from the guys I was playing with, but my deft touch was gone.

It got me to thinking, I used to play this game constantly, and I also used to play Madden like it was a full time job. Sure I have picked up new pursuits over the years. I have gotten married, I spend a lot of my free time outside, either hiking, or hunting, oh and I have a job now. But those things I used to love doing I seem to have pushed aside.

So Sunday morning before my long drive home I dug through the basement in my old house looking for that old dart board so that I could bring it with me, and maybe I could rediscover that lost skill. But when I found that old board, it was much like my game, deteriorated and covered in mold. But the darts just needed to be dusted off, and they made the journey back with me. Who knows, maybe sometime soon I will get a new board and return to my past glory.

7 – The Greatest American Athletes are at the Olympics

No, no they are not. I am not trying to take away from the accomplishments of Michael Phelps, or any of the other amazing athletes at the Olympics, but America’s best are not jumping into the pool, or running in circles around a track.

In the US the best athletes head to where the money is. That money is not found at the bottom of a pool, or in a starters block. That money is found putting a ball in the basket, or launching a tight spiral. The next time that anyone in this country shows any interest in a swimmer, or a track star will be 4 years from now in London, unless of course there is a doping scandal.

Much of Phelps success is attributed to his build, and how it is perfect for swimming; he is tall (relatively anyway) and has an incredible wingspan. The thing is on any college basketball team you can find a player with a similar build, but none of those guys are jumping in the pool, because there is no money in it.

Its funny, since the US still leads the medal count, despite the majority of these events holding little more than fringe status here in the States. The rest of the world should be thankful that we don’t give a flying fuck about their past times. Otherwise we would really be rubbing their noses in it.

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