Brickinthebox is live on tape delay from an Indianapolis bar across the street from the NFL combine. We secretly taped the conversations that occurred between ourselves and NFL bigwigs to gain some incredible insight into the NFL draft, which we are sharing here with our reader. Warning – Spoilers ahead.
It may have been the frustration of trying to have a conversation where we talked 1990’s Buffalo Bills in conjunction with the draft, or it could have just been the lunch rush, but it seemed like it was taking forever to get our order and Romeo was getting visibly disturbed. My attention was taken away from the door as the beads of sweat forming on Romeo’s brow began to consume my attention, so I didn’t even see our next guest come in. Than again, he may have just scurried in under the door.
Mike Shanahan – Romeo, how are things in Cleveland, hehehehe
Romeo – hello Mike, have you given up on all my cast-offs yet?
Shanahan – I got more out of them than you ever could. You may have had a better season last year, but need I remind you… Brady Quinn, hehehehe
Romeo – you are a real piece of shit, you know that right.
Shanahan – hehehehehe
Marv - Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Shanahan – 4 straight superbowl losses, that must sting huh Marv hehehehe
Marv – well we are still the team to beat in the AFC, although you are building a nice team around John.
Shanahan – So I know Romeo, I know Marv, who are you (addressing me)
Brick – names Brick, I’m here studying NFL coaches, I’ve found that most can be compared to members of the animal kingdom, you could pass for a rat.
Shanahan – Raider fan huh, TIME OUT, hehehehe
The waiter shows up.
Sorry for the delay gentlemen, things are all backed up in the kitchen, is there something I can get you Sir (addressing Shanahan)
Shanahan – how about a cheese platter.
Romeo, Marv and I all crack up laughing
Shanahan – cheese, yeh, Rat, I know, hehehehe
Romeo – at least you don’t try to hide it,
Brick – So is the team going to under perform for you again this year.
Shanahan – ITS NOT MY FAULT, IT WAS THE DC… I GAVE HIM ALL THE PIECES, HE JUST COULDN’T GET IT DONE.
Romeo – settle down Alice, your going to get us all kicked out of here, you know how restaurants hate rodents.
Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Shanahan – Wide Right, hehehehehe
Marv starts to weep a little
Marv – we worked so hard that year, I thought we were going to beat the Giants, but we can’t pin that all on Scott, it was a team loss.
Shanahan – hehehehehe
Brick – you are a real ass
Shanahan – Oh, I’m just having a little fun with the old man, have you told him that he was fired
Marv stares blankly at Shanahan
Romeo – ignore him Marv, he is just bitter that without John he’ll never amount to anything.
Marv – what happened to John?
Brick – nothing, Romeo is just pointing out how important he is to the team, So Mike, what are the Broncos looking to do in this years draft?
Shanahan – well its no secret, we need to find some more weapons for Jay
Marv – John?
Shanahan – yeah , more weapons for John, our oline is aging but we find our guys later in the draft, and in the secondary we could use some safety help and you can never have enough dlineman.
Marv – well you should be able to target a receiver like Malcolm Kelly or DeSean Jackson or a safety like Kenny Philips at your slot, I think the value won’t be there at D tackle for you.
Shanahan stares blankly at Marv
Brick – yeah, its 1994 with 2008 draft picks, its giving me a headache.
Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Shanahan (visibly shaken) yeah, if Kenny Philips is there, I don’t see us passing on him, either WR would be nice, but the draft is deep there and I can get one in round 2. I think I’m going to excuse myself.
Romeo – don’t let the door hit you on the way out asshole.
Shanahan (composing himself, looks at Romeo) Brady Quinn (looks at Marv) WIDE RIGHT, (looks at me) 2 division wins in the last 3 years…HEHEHEHEHE
And with that he scurried out of the bar, once again, I didn’t even see the door open.
Marv – poor Scott, he’ll never live that kick down.
Romeo – That sucka is a rat.
Brickinthebox mock draft:
1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Keith Rivers, LB, USC
10. New Orleans Saints - Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
11. Buffalo Bills – Sedric Ellis, DT, USC
12. Denver Broncos - Kenny Philips, S, Miami
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
I've lost my balls many times
Watching TV last night I saw a commercial that made me scratch my head. It starts off with a golf ball that someone is drawing a soccer ball pattern on. Once the pattern is complete it gets signed David Beckham, and we cut to someone driving the ball. Gee what a clever add, too bad it has one major flaw. Nobody in the US gives a flying fuck about soccer or David Beckham.
Well maybe not nobody, there are people out there who watch TMZ or entertainment tonight. They care about Beckham and his freakish looking wife. Don’t get me wrong, at one point I thought she was the hottest spice girl, but she now is at least 80% plastic and does nothing for me. And do you really want to cater to the people who watch the celebrity gossip shows? They aren’t moving any product that can’t be bought in bulk at Wal-Mart. Their trailers are already packed with enough talking fish and Blue Collar comedy DVD’s. They don’t have any room for your sharpies.
Then there are the soccer fans. But lets face it, most of them are here illegally, and they know that David Beckham is no longer a top player. He is just here for a big payday prior to retirement.
So great ad Sharpie, you are ready to corner the market on celebrity worshippers and migrant workers. You do know that the only reason ESPN was hyping the arrival of Beckham is that they show MLS games, oh and Stuart Scott has a crush on him. Once again proving that the world would be a better place if Stuart Scott weren’t in it.
But the ad did get me to thinking. Golf season is fast approaching. And I do suck at the game. Now I could go out and play more often, when I played a couple times a week I was getting close to playing bogey golf. Then I decided that there were better things to do in life, and went back to loosing 10 balls every 18 holes the two or three times I play a year.
Now there is nothing more frustrating in golf to me than aimlessly searching for a golf ball that I have sliced 20 yards off the fairway. It really pisses me off. But I think I have found a way to add a silver lining to loosing a ball.
I’m going to steal a sharpie from work and modify my golf balls. I would be much happier about loosing a ball, if I knew that I could leave an insult for the lucky fuck that finds a once hit ball later. So I’ve started brainstorming insults to write on my golf balls. So far the list looks like this:
- If you found me way out here, you must really suck at golf
- While you are out here, the guy who lost me is fucking your wife
- Right now you are fondling another man’s balls
- This ball was previously used as an anal bead
- (Draw an iris on one side) If found return to Stuart Scott
- Is that cock I smell on your breath?
- Go fuck yourself
As you can see, I need some more ideas for this to work. I need enough for an entire case of balls, or else I’ll just be repeating myself, and that’s not funny. So leave your suggestions in the comments. Now don’t go trying to steal this idea, if I see a new company producing insult golf balls I’ll sue your ass. I’m going to patent this bitch.
Well maybe not nobody, there are people out there who watch TMZ or entertainment tonight. They care about Beckham and his freakish looking wife. Don’t get me wrong, at one point I thought she was the hottest spice girl, but she now is at least 80% plastic and does nothing for me. And do you really want to cater to the people who watch the celebrity gossip shows? They aren’t moving any product that can’t be bought in bulk at Wal-Mart. Their trailers are already packed with enough talking fish and Blue Collar comedy DVD’s. They don’t have any room for your sharpies.
Then there are the soccer fans. But lets face it, most of them are here illegally, and they know that David Beckham is no longer a top player. He is just here for a big payday prior to retirement.
So great ad Sharpie, you are ready to corner the market on celebrity worshippers and migrant workers. You do know that the only reason ESPN was hyping the arrival of Beckham is that they show MLS games, oh and Stuart Scott has a crush on him. Once again proving that the world would be a better place if Stuart Scott weren’t in it.
But the ad did get me to thinking. Golf season is fast approaching. And I do suck at the game. Now I could go out and play more often, when I played a couple times a week I was getting close to playing bogey golf. Then I decided that there were better things to do in life, and went back to loosing 10 balls every 18 holes the two or three times I play a year.
Now there is nothing more frustrating in golf to me than aimlessly searching for a golf ball that I have sliced 20 yards off the fairway. It really pisses me off. But I think I have found a way to add a silver lining to loosing a ball.
I’m going to steal a sharpie from work and modify my golf balls. I would be much happier about loosing a ball, if I knew that I could leave an insult for the lucky fuck that finds a once hit ball later. So I’ve started brainstorming insults to write on my golf balls. So far the list looks like this:
- If you found me way out here, you must really suck at golf
- While you are out here, the guy who lost me is fucking your wife
- Right now you are fondling another man’s balls
- This ball was previously used as an anal bead
- (Draw an iris on one side) If found return to Stuart Scott
- Is that cock I smell on your breath?
- Go fuck yourself
As you can see, I need some more ideas for this to work. I need enough for an entire case of balls, or else I’ll just be repeating myself, and that’s not funny. So leave your suggestions in the comments. Now don’t go trying to steal this idea, if I see a new company producing insult golf balls I’ll sue your ass. I’m going to patent this bitch.
2008 - Brickinthebox Mock-Draft - Buffalo, Marv is Lost
Brickinthebox is live on tape delay from an Indianapolis bar across the street from the NFL combine. We secretly taped the conversations that occurred between ourselves and NFL bigwigs to gain some incredible insight into the NFL draft, which we are sharing here with our reader. Warning – Spoilers ahead.
As the bar continued to fill for the lunch rush, a commotion arose at the bar.
Bartender – No we do not offer a senior citizens discount, I don’t care who you are. You can leave for all I care, I’m too busy to deal with you today Marv.
Romeo – Marv, hey Marv…MARV!!!!
Old man turns around.
Romeo – come over here, I’ll get you lunch.
Marv Levy – Thanks, but do I know you?
Romeo – yeah Marv, it’s me Romeo Crennel, we have know each other for years.
Marv – It’s a pleasure to meet you; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Brick – Mr. Levy, I hate to be rude, but you haven’t been head coach of the Bills in years, in fact you don’t even work for them anymore.
Marv stares blankly at me for a few moments
Marv – A pleasure to meet you young man, I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Romeo – just play along, someone will be here soon to pick him up.
Brick (shrugging shoulders) Ok, well Marv, what brings you to the combine.
Marv – Well we are always looking for bright young talent to add to our team, I really feel this is the year we take the next step and win the Super Bowl.
Brick – wow, shouldn’t you concentrate on making the playoffs 1st, Its going to be tough to get past New England.
Marv – New England, we have dominated them for years, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. No the biggest threat to us in division in Miami and that damn Dan Marino.
Brick – Dan Marino… but he hasn’t….
Romeo – what my friend is trying to say is that you are real close, are you looking more at offense or defense.
Marv – Well Jim would always like more receivers and lineman, but if the Dallas game proved anything to us, its that we need to upgrade our defense to get the ball back and keep the K-gun on the field.
Waiter shows up at the table, takes Marv’s and Romeo’s orders.
Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Brick – Yes you are, you were about to tell me about who you are looking at on the Dline.
Marv – Why yes, Bruce Smith is one of the most dominant defensive ends in the history of the NFL, but we could use some help up the middle, someone to take advantage of the double teams that he demands.
Brick – so you don’t think an upgrade at corner or wide receiver is in order.
Marv – well you see the draft is a crapshoot, and you never know what is going to fall to you. A player like Glenn Dorsey could slip, or the best player available could be a big wide out like Malcolm Kelly, we have had luck with Okalahoma boys.
Brick – Dorsey…Kelly I thought we were talking 1994
Marv stares blankly at me for a minute
Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Brick – Ok, so lets say that Sedrick Ellis is there, would he be a player that the Bills are interested in?
Marv – Oh, no doubt. That young man would look great lined up next to Bruce Smith. He could make the difference in a rematch with Dallas.
Brick – well than it’s settled, I’m putting the Bills down for Sedrick Ellis, nice choice Mr. Levy.
Marv – I’m sorry, have we met… I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Romeo – where is this fools nurse.
Brickinthebox mock draft:
1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Keith Rivers, LB, USC
10. New Orleans Saints - Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
11. Buffalo Bills – Sedrick Ellis, DT, USC
As the bar continued to fill for the lunch rush, a commotion arose at the bar.
Bartender – No we do not offer a senior citizens discount, I don’t care who you are. You can leave for all I care, I’m too busy to deal with you today Marv.
Romeo – Marv, hey Marv…MARV!!!!
Old man turns around.
Romeo – come over here, I’ll get you lunch.
Marv Levy – Thanks, but do I know you?
Romeo – yeah Marv, it’s me Romeo Crennel, we have know each other for years.
Marv – It’s a pleasure to meet you; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Brick – Mr. Levy, I hate to be rude, but you haven’t been head coach of the Bills in years, in fact you don’t even work for them anymore.
Marv stares blankly at me for a few moments
Marv – A pleasure to meet you young man, I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Romeo – just play along, someone will be here soon to pick him up.
Brick (shrugging shoulders) Ok, well Marv, what brings you to the combine.
Marv – Well we are always looking for bright young talent to add to our team, I really feel this is the year we take the next step and win the Super Bowl.
Brick – wow, shouldn’t you concentrate on making the playoffs 1st, Its going to be tough to get past New England.
Marv – New England, we have dominated them for years, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. No the biggest threat to us in division in Miami and that damn Dan Marino.
Brick – Dan Marino… but he hasn’t….
Romeo – what my friend is trying to say is that you are real close, are you looking more at offense or defense.
Marv – Well Jim would always like more receivers and lineman, but if the Dallas game proved anything to us, its that we need to upgrade our defense to get the ball back and keep the K-gun on the field.
Waiter shows up at the table, takes Marv’s and Romeo’s orders.
Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Brick – Yes you are, you were about to tell me about who you are looking at on the Dline.
Marv – Why yes, Bruce Smith is one of the most dominant defensive ends in the history of the NFL, but we could use some help up the middle, someone to take advantage of the double teams that he demands.
Brick – so you don’t think an upgrade at corner or wide receiver is in order.
Marv – well you see the draft is a crapshoot, and you never know what is going to fall to you. A player like Glenn Dorsey could slip, or the best player available could be a big wide out like Malcolm Kelly, we have had luck with Okalahoma boys.
Brick – Dorsey…Kelly I thought we were talking 1994
Marv stares blankly at me for a minute
Marv – Hello, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced; I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Brick – Ok, so lets say that Sedrick Ellis is there, would he be a player that the Bills are interested in?
Marv – Oh, no doubt. That young man would look great lined up next to Bruce Smith. He could make the difference in a rematch with Dallas.
Brick – well than it’s settled, I’m putting the Bills down for Sedrick Ellis, nice choice Mr. Levy.
Marv – I’m sorry, have we met… I’m Marv Levy, head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Romeo – where is this fools nurse.
Brickinthebox mock draft:
1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Keith Rivers, LB, USC
10. New Orleans Saints - Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
11. Buffalo Bills – Sedrick Ellis, DT, USC
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
2008 - Brickinthebox Mock-Draft - New Orleans, aborted
Brickinthebox is live on tape delay from an Indianapolis bar across the street from the NFL combine. We secretly taped the conversations that occurred between ourselves and NFL bigwigs to gain some incredible insight into the NFL draft, which we are sharing here with our reader. Warning – Spoilers ahead.
Due to technical difficulties the Shawn Payton interview will not be posted. I have been having trouble with the blog site crashing my Internet browser. But lets be honest. The Saints segment sucked, it was the worst one I put together, and I’m not all that disappointed it will never see the Internet.
It went something like this, Payton comes in, Romeo eats, Parcells shows up. Payton finds out that Keith Rivers is not available. Starts crying. Parcells tells him to act like a man and to make Jenkins an offer he can’t refuse. You know Godfather bullshit. You’ve read it 100 times before. No need to rehash it here.
We’ll continue with the questionable humor of the mock draft tomorrow.
Brickinthebox mock draft:
1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Keith Rivers, LB, USC
10. New Orleans Saints - Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
Due to technical difficulties the Shawn Payton interview will not be posted. I have been having trouble with the blog site crashing my Internet browser. But lets be honest. The Saints segment sucked, it was the worst one I put together, and I’m not all that disappointed it will never see the Internet.
It went something like this, Payton comes in, Romeo eats, Parcells shows up. Payton finds out that Keith Rivers is not available. Starts crying. Parcells tells him to act like a man and to make Jenkins an offer he can’t refuse. You know Godfather bullshit. You’ve read it 100 times before. No need to rehash it here.
We’ll continue with the questionable humor of the mock draft tomorrow.
Brickinthebox mock draft:
1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Keith Rivers, LB, USC
10. New Orleans Saints - Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
Monday, March 10, 2008
2008 - Brickinthebox Mock-Draft - Bengals, Mugging Marvin
Brickinthebox is live on tape delay from an Indianapolis bar across the street from the NFL combine. We secretly taped the conversations that occurred between ourselves and NFL bigwigs to gain some incredible insight into the NFL draft, which we are sharing here with our reader. Warning – Spoilers ahead.
With Romeo entering the Steak and Shake, I got my food to go and ordered an extra milkshake. I distracted Romeo with the Milkshake and left before I lost my appetite again. Back in my hotel room I looked over my notes and felt pretty good. On the 1st day in Indy I managed to get a hold of the top 8 teams. The bar I selected seemed like a winner.
The next morning I walked into the bar at about 10:30. The place was still a mess from the night before. The staff was hurrying around trying to get the place back in order before the lunch rush. I got my recording equipment back in order, but in doing so got some nasty shit on my hands. When I went into the bathroom to wash up I got my 1st surprise of Day 2.
Walking by the 2nd stall on my way to the sink, I saw a man passed out and just coming to.
Brick – Are you all right?
Man – (with face in hands) Uhhhnnnn, last thing I remember is telling Travis that I was heading out with him tonight to keep him out of trouble. What time is it?
Brick – about 11am.
Man – Oh shoot, I’ve been here all night, and the workouts are about to start.
Brick – So you are here for the combine.
Marvin Lewis (looking up) – yeah, I’m head coach of the Bengals.
Brick – Oh shit, I recognize you, can you get up.
Lewis – Yeah, my head feels like heck, I think I got mugged. Dang, my wallet is gone.
Brick – Common, I’ll buy you a coffee.
I went over to the sink and washed my hands, Marvin washed his face, staring blankly into the mirror. The two of us then went back out to the bar, where you know who was waiting for us.
Romeo – Marvin, looks like you went out with the boys again last night. Don’t you ever learn.
Marvin – I thought it would be different this time. I thought that if I went out with Chris, Chad, Odell, and J.J. there wouldn’t be any trouble.
Romeo – Let me guess, your wallet is missing…again.
Marvin – Yeah, but at least I still have my cell phone. (Marvin takes out phone, hits 1 on speed dial)
Marvin – Amex, yeah its me Marvin again. Good, how are the kids. So what charges did I incur last night. No, I wasn’t at the eager beaver, no I didn’t pay $10,000.00 to mikes bail bonds, No I didn’t buy a water pipe. That’s it; well I guess they did behave themselves last night. Thanks.
Marvin – Well that went better than expected.
Waiter comes over with coffee, 3 diet cokes and two bacon egg and cheese sandwiches. Puts coffee in front of Marvin, the rest goes to Romeo.
Waiter – Mr. Lewis, good to see you again. Looks like you went out with the guys last night.
Marvin – yeah, those crazy rascals. Always leaving me in the bathroom. That’s why I like Indy, in Cincinnati someone would have pissed on me, here in Indy everyone is so polite, I just have some puke on the back of my shirt.
Waiter – the guys said you would be picking up the tab this morning. (Hands him check).
Marvin – Wow, $8,034.43, they are really maturing, this even includes damages, I paid at least twice this last year.
Waiter – yeah, and only 1 reported rape last night, you are really turning that team around.
Marvin – It just takes a little tough love, and a strong belief in God.
Brick – So Marvin, did you see anyone impressive yesterday at the combine?
Romeo – Hey, you’re the fool you was suppose to buy me lunch yesterday.
Brick – Remember I bought you a milkshake last night.
Romeo – Oh yeah, I do like milkshakes.
Marvin – There are some fine young men in this year’s draft. Did you know that Darren McFadden only has 4 children out of wedlock, and 2 priors at nightclubs, that young man has his head on straight.
Brick – I can see how he would be a good fit, but I think he is going to be a Falcon.
Marvin – That makes sense, there is an organization that values character individuals. They really have their act together. So it sounds like you have some idea as to whom the teams ahead of us are taking. Mind if I take a look at the list?
I passed over my mock draft and my list of players still available. Marvin took a quick look.
Marvin – I see you have heights, weights and 40 times listed here, but no information on the guys character. You really need some more information in order to make a good decision as to whom to draft. I see you still have Sedric Ellis and Keith Rivers available. Either one of those young men could shore up the middle of my defense.
Brick – So any preference?
Marvin – well you just can’t go wrong with a player from USC. That program produces some real quality individuals. We drafted Frostee Rucker from USC and he has produced just as expected. But I think we need more help at LB than at DL. I mean I had Dhani Jones on the squad last year. There was just no getting through to him, such a waste.
Brick – So I should put you down for Keith Rivers.
Marvin – Well, I do need to perform a thorough background check, but he seems like a winner to me. Thanks for the coffee, I need to get back over to the combine.
Brick – Shouldn’t you go change first, you do have puke on you.
Marvin – Oh, no. I’m sure those rascals went back to my room last night since they had my wallet. These are the only clothes I have left.
Brick – Well good luck to you.
Marvin – And may god be with the two of you, especially you Romeo, you do know that god hates fags, like Quinn.
Romeo – I hate him too.
Marvin then left the bar, limping noticeably.
Romeo – glad I don’t have to sit next to that stinky fool for the next 3 days.
Brickinthebox mock draft:
1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Keith Rivers, LB, USC
With Romeo entering the Steak and Shake, I got my food to go and ordered an extra milkshake. I distracted Romeo with the Milkshake and left before I lost my appetite again. Back in my hotel room I looked over my notes and felt pretty good. On the 1st day in Indy I managed to get a hold of the top 8 teams. The bar I selected seemed like a winner.
The next morning I walked into the bar at about 10:30. The place was still a mess from the night before. The staff was hurrying around trying to get the place back in order before the lunch rush. I got my recording equipment back in order, but in doing so got some nasty shit on my hands. When I went into the bathroom to wash up I got my 1st surprise of Day 2.
Walking by the 2nd stall on my way to the sink, I saw a man passed out and just coming to.
Brick – Are you all right?
Man – (with face in hands) Uhhhnnnn, last thing I remember is telling Travis that I was heading out with him tonight to keep him out of trouble. What time is it?
Brick – about 11am.
Man – Oh shoot, I’ve been here all night, and the workouts are about to start.
Brick – So you are here for the combine.
Marvin Lewis (looking up) – yeah, I’m head coach of the Bengals.
Brick – Oh shit, I recognize you, can you get up.
Lewis – Yeah, my head feels like heck, I think I got mugged. Dang, my wallet is gone.
Brick – Common, I’ll buy you a coffee.
I went over to the sink and washed my hands, Marvin washed his face, staring blankly into the mirror. The two of us then went back out to the bar, where you know who was waiting for us.
Romeo – Marvin, looks like you went out with the boys again last night. Don’t you ever learn.
Marvin – I thought it would be different this time. I thought that if I went out with Chris, Chad, Odell, and J.J. there wouldn’t be any trouble.
Romeo – Let me guess, your wallet is missing…again.
Marvin – Yeah, but at least I still have my cell phone. (Marvin takes out phone, hits 1 on speed dial)
Marvin – Amex, yeah its me Marvin again. Good, how are the kids. So what charges did I incur last night. No, I wasn’t at the eager beaver, no I didn’t pay $10,000.00 to mikes bail bonds, No I didn’t buy a water pipe. That’s it; well I guess they did behave themselves last night. Thanks.
Marvin – Well that went better than expected.
Waiter comes over with coffee, 3 diet cokes and two bacon egg and cheese sandwiches. Puts coffee in front of Marvin, the rest goes to Romeo.
Waiter – Mr. Lewis, good to see you again. Looks like you went out with the guys last night.
Marvin – yeah, those crazy rascals. Always leaving me in the bathroom. That’s why I like Indy, in Cincinnati someone would have pissed on me, here in Indy everyone is so polite, I just have some puke on the back of my shirt.
Waiter – the guys said you would be picking up the tab this morning. (Hands him check).
Marvin – Wow, $8,034.43, they are really maturing, this even includes damages, I paid at least twice this last year.
Waiter – yeah, and only 1 reported rape last night, you are really turning that team around.
Marvin – It just takes a little tough love, and a strong belief in God.
Brick – So Marvin, did you see anyone impressive yesterday at the combine?
Romeo – Hey, you’re the fool you was suppose to buy me lunch yesterday.
Brick – Remember I bought you a milkshake last night.
Romeo – Oh yeah, I do like milkshakes.
Marvin – There are some fine young men in this year’s draft. Did you know that Darren McFadden only has 4 children out of wedlock, and 2 priors at nightclubs, that young man has his head on straight.
Brick – I can see how he would be a good fit, but I think he is going to be a Falcon.
Marvin – That makes sense, there is an organization that values character individuals. They really have their act together. So it sounds like you have some idea as to whom the teams ahead of us are taking. Mind if I take a look at the list?
I passed over my mock draft and my list of players still available. Marvin took a quick look.
Marvin – I see you have heights, weights and 40 times listed here, but no information on the guys character. You really need some more information in order to make a good decision as to whom to draft. I see you still have Sedric Ellis and Keith Rivers available. Either one of those young men could shore up the middle of my defense.
Brick – So any preference?
Marvin – well you just can’t go wrong with a player from USC. That program produces some real quality individuals. We drafted Frostee Rucker from USC and he has produced just as expected. But I think we need more help at LB than at DL. I mean I had Dhani Jones on the squad last year. There was just no getting through to him, such a waste.
Brick – So I should put you down for Keith Rivers.
Marvin – Well, I do need to perform a thorough background check, but he seems like a winner to me. Thanks for the coffee, I need to get back over to the combine.
Brick – Shouldn’t you go change first, you do have puke on you.
Marvin – Oh, no. I’m sure those rascals went back to my room last night since they had my wallet. These are the only clothes I have left.
Brick – Well good luck to you.
Marvin – And may god be with the two of you, especially you Romeo, you do know that god hates fags, like Quinn.
Romeo – I hate him too.
Marvin then left the bar, limping noticeably.
Romeo – glad I don’t have to sit next to that stinky fool for the next 3 days.
Brickinthebox mock draft:
1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Keith Rivers, LB, USC
Friday, March 7, 2008
Finding a new home for DeAngelo
Things seemed to have slowed down a bit with free agency, as is to be expected about a week in. So its time to start looking forward to the NFL draft, I know, it seems like I already have with the daily mock draft posts, but there is no thinking involved with those, Romeo did all the work. Now, I’m not going to quit talking about free agency, but the focus will shift.
Where does DeAnglo Go?
In a mock draft that I’m taking part in on another site the Texans pulled off a blockbuster trade to obtain DeAngelo Hall. And of course being the know-it-all that I am, I blasted the GM for the Texans for getting hosed.
But it got me to thinking, where will Hall end up? I’m guessing that the Falcons are torn as far as Hall is concerned. If they can get him to shut his trap and buy in, he is something they are short on, a good young player. But he is also a link to the old regime, and probably the biggest Vick supporter on the team. A whole ugly mess all the way around.
As far as Hall is concerned, he wants out and has made no secret of his desires. Unless someone on the Falcon’s staff can reach him, he will be a distraction all year.
So where does DeAngelo fit? I filtered through the team. First I took a look at team needs. Who needs a CB. Not who would like a CB, while Hall isn’t a shut down corner, he is still one of the better guys out there.
That got me this list:
Texans (Sure I blasted them, but they only have 1 quality starter, if he is healthy)
Saints
Ravens
Patriots
Dolphins
Cowboys
Chiefs
Browns
Sure the Giants have been the rumored landing spot, but they didn’t make my list, as their need isn’t high enough to warrant giving up the 1st round choice. Now we start witling down the list. The Texans have Daunte Robbinson who will be looking for a contract next year, and have too many needs to wrap up that much money in CB’s. The Saints are in division and have spent too much on free agents the last two off seasons to tie up Samual type money. The Ravens have two good corners, they can’t afford Hall, even if their guys are long in the tooth and injury prone. The Dolphins and Chiefs both have too many other needs. And the Browns have already blown their load by trading all of their picks this year.
That leaves me with two teams. The Pats and the Cowboys. And to be honest, they were the two I focused on before I even started this exercise. They are both a player or two away from being the prohibitive favorite to reach the Super Bowl, and they both have relatively few other needs.
So what would I give up if I were the GM for one of these teams? Well if I were the Cowboys, its easy. I’d offer up the 2nd of my 1st round picks. Its 4 spots higher than what my in division rival will offer up, so even if I’m rejected, I’ve just upped what the Giants would have to give. Jerry Jones could still get Felix Jones with pick 22 or a young WR. It’s the kind of big splash that Jerry likes to make.
Now the Pats are a little more complicated. They draft way to high in round 1 to give up the draft pick. But with a little maneuvering they could obtain the picks necessary to pull this off. Now I’m assuming that the Saints are targeting Keith Rivers, LB, USC. He is a top talent who fills their biggest need, other than CB. But he also fills one of the Bengals’ biggest needs. And the Bengals draft 1 spot ahead of the Saints. So the Pats can play the two teams off each other to get their 1st and 2nd round pick for the Pats #1.
The 2nd round pick that the Pats pick up with that trade is the amo they should use to try and pry Hall away from the Falcons. Now if the Cowboys or Giants are serious about sending a 1st round pick to Atlanta, than the Pats are going to have to sweeten the Pot. But they have that sweetener with their 2nd round pick and both their and the Raiders pick in the 3rd round. So some combination of 2 of those 4 picks should get the job done. And the Pats would still have 3 picks in the 1st three rounds to find LB help and get younger at other aging positions.
Cowboys or Pats, that’s where I’d put my money for Hall ending up. Sometimes the rich do just get richer.
Where does DeAnglo Go?
In a mock draft that I’m taking part in on another site the Texans pulled off a blockbuster trade to obtain DeAngelo Hall. And of course being the know-it-all that I am, I blasted the GM for the Texans for getting hosed.
But it got me to thinking, where will Hall end up? I’m guessing that the Falcons are torn as far as Hall is concerned. If they can get him to shut his trap and buy in, he is something they are short on, a good young player. But he is also a link to the old regime, and probably the biggest Vick supporter on the team. A whole ugly mess all the way around.
As far as Hall is concerned, he wants out and has made no secret of his desires. Unless someone on the Falcon’s staff can reach him, he will be a distraction all year.
So where does DeAngelo fit? I filtered through the team. First I took a look at team needs. Who needs a CB. Not who would like a CB, while Hall isn’t a shut down corner, he is still one of the better guys out there.
That got me this list:
Texans (Sure I blasted them, but they only have 1 quality starter, if he is healthy)
Saints
Ravens
Patriots
Dolphins
Cowboys
Chiefs
Browns
Sure the Giants have been the rumored landing spot, but they didn’t make my list, as their need isn’t high enough to warrant giving up the 1st round choice. Now we start witling down the list. The Texans have Daunte Robbinson who will be looking for a contract next year, and have too many needs to wrap up that much money in CB’s. The Saints are in division and have spent too much on free agents the last two off seasons to tie up Samual type money. The Ravens have two good corners, they can’t afford Hall, even if their guys are long in the tooth and injury prone. The Dolphins and Chiefs both have too many other needs. And the Browns have already blown their load by trading all of their picks this year.
That leaves me with two teams. The Pats and the Cowboys. And to be honest, they were the two I focused on before I even started this exercise. They are both a player or two away from being the prohibitive favorite to reach the Super Bowl, and they both have relatively few other needs.
So what would I give up if I were the GM for one of these teams? Well if I were the Cowboys, its easy. I’d offer up the 2nd of my 1st round picks. Its 4 spots higher than what my in division rival will offer up, so even if I’m rejected, I’ve just upped what the Giants would have to give. Jerry Jones could still get Felix Jones with pick 22 or a young WR. It’s the kind of big splash that Jerry likes to make.
Now the Pats are a little more complicated. They draft way to high in round 1 to give up the draft pick. But with a little maneuvering they could obtain the picks necessary to pull this off. Now I’m assuming that the Saints are targeting Keith Rivers, LB, USC. He is a top talent who fills their biggest need, other than CB. But he also fills one of the Bengals’ biggest needs. And the Bengals draft 1 spot ahead of the Saints. So the Pats can play the two teams off each other to get their 1st and 2nd round pick for the Pats #1.
The 2nd round pick that the Pats pick up with that trade is the amo they should use to try and pry Hall away from the Falcons. Now if the Cowboys or Giants are serious about sending a 1st round pick to Atlanta, than the Pats are going to have to sweeten the Pot. But they have that sweetener with their 2nd round pick and both their and the Raiders pick in the 3rd round. So some combination of 2 of those 4 picks should get the job done. And the Pats would still have 3 picks in the 1st three rounds to find LB help and get younger at other aging positions.
Cowboys or Pats, that’s where I’d put my money for Hall ending up. Sometimes the rich do just get richer.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
2008 - Brickinthebox Mock-Draft - Baltimore, Steak and Shake
Brickinthebox is live on tape delay from an Indianapolis bar across the street from the NFL combine. We secretly taped the conversations that occurred between ourselves and NFL bigwigs to gain some incredible insight into the NFL draft, which we are sharing here with our reader. Warning – Spoilers ahead.
My surveillance equipment disabled by the despicable Bill Bellichick, and my mind unable to stomach watching Romeo take another bite, I put down some money, collected my tapes and headed outside. I figured that I would have to get up early again the next morning to get my setup back in order, so it was grab a quick bite and hit the hotel room to start transcribing the days events.
I spotted a steak and shake across the way and figured it couldn’t be any worse that what I’d just been through. The place was pretty packed and I found myself in line in front of two large men. When a table for 4 opened up they asked if they could join me. Recognizing them I wasn’t about to say no. Thus began my dinner with the Ryan brothers, Rob and Rex.
Rex – Thanks for letting us join you.
Rob – Yeah, usually we are able to get a seat right away; we are regulars here.
Brick – You mean the two of you come all the way to Indy for the combine and are regulars at Steak and Shake?
Rob – yeah, we’ve been coming here since we worked for Buddy.
Brick – So what do you recommend?
Rex – you can’t go wrong at Steak and Shake. It’s all great. Last year I gained 12 pounds over the combine weekend, all thanks to Steak and Shake.
Brick – Oh, shit, I though Romeo was bad.
Rob – You ran into Mr. T. where is that sorry fucker.
Brick – across the street at the bar, he’s been there all day.
Rex – I’d spend all day at the bar too if I had Brady Quinn as the future of my team.
Rob – So have you been over there with him all day? I bet you two have run into just about every big shot in the league.
Brick – Yeah, quite a few anyway. Ran into Mr. Davis, looks like he is planning on taking Chris Long.
Rob – Well that’s a step in the right direction.
Rex – You’ll still suck. You ever think that you’ll have a better defence than me?
Rob – Fuck you Rex, if I hadn’t been hamstrung by the system Mr. Davis requires and washed up old men like Sapp, I’d have this D running on all cylinders by now.
Rex – oh, cry me a fucking river. I’ve had to overcome the 3 and out genius of Billick for the last 8 years and still have this ring. When are you going to get a ring where you aren’t riding Mangini’s coat-tails.
Brick – Mangini’s coat-tails? Don’t you mean Belichick?
Rob – How many rings has Bill won without Eric. Eric may be the smartest motherfucker in the league.
Rex – So you ran into Mr. Davis, did you run into Ozzy? Any clue what he is planning on?
Brick – Nope, didn’t see Ozzy today, he must have actually been playing attention at the combine. So what do you think the Ravens are going to do?
Guy at next table – Maybe you should be asking me that.
Rex – who are you.
Guy at next table – I’m John Harbaugh, your new head coach.
Rex – didn’t you play QB for the Colts?
Harbaugh – no that was my brother. I was QB coach for Phily.
Rex – never heard of you.
Rob – Well come on over and fill us in.
Harbaugh gets up and joins our table.
Rex – you do know that Ozzy runs the draft room, what he says goes.
Harbaugh – that may work for your defense, but I’m going to have to have some say on Offense, the talent there is lacking.
Brick - So you’re saying that you’ll be looking at offense with the 1st pick.
Before Harbaugh can answer Ray Lewis storms in the front door. Dances for two minutes then comes over to the table.
Lewis – Rex, I think we need a dominant tackle in this years draft to keep the blockers off me.
Harbaugh - I don’t think this team needs to take another DL this high Ray, we need some help on offense.
Lewis – who the fuck is this cracker?
Harbaugh - I’m John Harbaugh, your new head coach.
Lewis – didn’t you play QB for the Colts?
Harbaugh – no that was my brother. I was QB coach for Phily.
Lewis – never heard of you.
Harbaugh – Ray, I’m sure that we’ll work great together, but you must understand that I need to rebuild the offense so we can put some points on the board
Lewis – Well Jim…
Harbaugh – John
Lewis (now reaching into his jacket) – Jim, Jay, John it doesn’t fucking matter, you need to understand that nobody talks back to god’s linebacker
With that, Rex jumps up from the table and grabs Ray. I think I saw a blade, but Rex managed to get Ray calmed down and out of the Restaurant before anything else happened.
Rex – Jim
Harbaugh – John
Rex – you really have to watch what you say to Ray. He is a bit crazy.
Harbaugh – I’m sure that we’ll be able to work well together.
Rob – yeah, if you don’t get stabbed in the 1st team meeting.
Rex – yeah, welcome to Shaw Shank.
Harbaugh – I’m sure the inmates running the asylum aspect of Baltimore is overblown.
Rex – sure it is (lifts up shirt, revealing multiple scars from stab wounds).
Brick – so Jim
Harbaugh – John
Brick – yeah, so who are you targeting in the draft.
The front door flys open and Ed Reed dances for two minutes before coming over to our table.
Reed – Rex, I need more money.
Rex – You just got an extension
Reed – I am the best safety in football, and I need to up my home security, Ray found out where I live again.
Harbaugh – Edward, I think you need to recognize that this is a team game, and you will have to sacrifice some in order for the team to succeed.
Reed – Who the fuck are you?
Harbaugh - I’m John Harbaugh, your new head coach.
Reed – didn’t you play QB for the Colts?
Harbaugh – no that was my brother. I was QB coach for Phily.
Reed – never heard of you. But Jim…
Harbaugh – John
Reed – your name doesn’t matter, you had better recognize that I’m the best player on this team and Ray Ray can’t handle it. Unless you want me to end up like Sean Taylor you had better get me paid.
With that Ed Reed left the Steak and Shake.
Harbaugh – well this has been quite the eye opening experience. Well before we are interrupted again, I’ll let you know that I really like young Matt Ryan out of Boston College.
Rex – A QB (stands up and punches Harbaugh in the face) sorry about that, its sort of a family tradition. But a QB, how many QB’s is this team going to waste money and draft picks on.
Harbaugh (holding jaw) Well I need something to work with, otherwise your D is going to have to do it all again… I think I lost a tooth. It was nice meeting you gentalmen.
Rob gets up, punches Harbaugh in the face
Rob – nice meeting you Jim.
Harbaugh – John… nice meeting you too.
Harbaugh leaves the Steak and Shake.
Brick – So Rex, how do you feel about Ryan.
Rex – doesn’t matter to me, as long as we are healthy on D we should compete again. I can’t do anything about the offense.
Rob – He’s better than anything you have now.
Rex – Yeah, I guess so.
Romeo barges in the door.
Romeo – where is the sucka who was suppose to buy me lunch, I’m gonna kill that fool…Mmmmmmmm Milkshakes.
Brickinthebox mock draft:
1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
My surveillance equipment disabled by the despicable Bill Bellichick, and my mind unable to stomach watching Romeo take another bite, I put down some money, collected my tapes and headed outside. I figured that I would have to get up early again the next morning to get my setup back in order, so it was grab a quick bite and hit the hotel room to start transcribing the days events.
I spotted a steak and shake across the way and figured it couldn’t be any worse that what I’d just been through. The place was pretty packed and I found myself in line in front of two large men. When a table for 4 opened up they asked if they could join me. Recognizing them I wasn’t about to say no. Thus began my dinner with the Ryan brothers, Rob and Rex.
Rex – Thanks for letting us join you.
Rob – Yeah, usually we are able to get a seat right away; we are regulars here.
Brick – You mean the two of you come all the way to Indy for the combine and are regulars at Steak and Shake?
Rob – yeah, we’ve been coming here since we worked for Buddy.
Brick – So what do you recommend?
Rex – you can’t go wrong at Steak and Shake. It’s all great. Last year I gained 12 pounds over the combine weekend, all thanks to Steak and Shake.
Brick – Oh, shit, I though Romeo was bad.
Rob – You ran into Mr. T. where is that sorry fucker.
Brick – across the street at the bar, he’s been there all day.
Rex – I’d spend all day at the bar too if I had Brady Quinn as the future of my team.
Rob – So have you been over there with him all day? I bet you two have run into just about every big shot in the league.
Brick – Yeah, quite a few anyway. Ran into Mr. Davis, looks like he is planning on taking Chris Long.
Rob – Well that’s a step in the right direction.
Rex – You’ll still suck. You ever think that you’ll have a better defence than me?
Rob – Fuck you Rex, if I hadn’t been hamstrung by the system Mr. Davis requires and washed up old men like Sapp, I’d have this D running on all cylinders by now.
Rex – oh, cry me a fucking river. I’ve had to overcome the 3 and out genius of Billick for the last 8 years and still have this ring. When are you going to get a ring where you aren’t riding Mangini’s coat-tails.
Brick – Mangini’s coat-tails? Don’t you mean Belichick?
Rob – How many rings has Bill won without Eric. Eric may be the smartest motherfucker in the league.
Rex – So you ran into Mr. Davis, did you run into Ozzy? Any clue what he is planning on?
Brick – Nope, didn’t see Ozzy today, he must have actually been playing attention at the combine. So what do you think the Ravens are going to do?
Guy at next table – Maybe you should be asking me that.
Rex – who are you.
Guy at next table – I’m John Harbaugh, your new head coach.
Rex – didn’t you play QB for the Colts?
Harbaugh – no that was my brother. I was QB coach for Phily.
Rex – never heard of you.
Rob – Well come on over and fill us in.
Harbaugh gets up and joins our table.
Rex – you do know that Ozzy runs the draft room, what he says goes.
Harbaugh – that may work for your defense, but I’m going to have to have some say on Offense, the talent there is lacking.
Brick - So you’re saying that you’ll be looking at offense with the 1st pick.
Before Harbaugh can answer Ray Lewis storms in the front door. Dances for two minutes then comes over to the table.
Lewis – Rex, I think we need a dominant tackle in this years draft to keep the blockers off me.
Harbaugh - I don’t think this team needs to take another DL this high Ray, we need some help on offense.
Lewis – who the fuck is this cracker?
Harbaugh - I’m John Harbaugh, your new head coach.
Lewis – didn’t you play QB for the Colts?
Harbaugh – no that was my brother. I was QB coach for Phily.
Lewis – never heard of you.
Harbaugh – Ray, I’m sure that we’ll work great together, but you must understand that I need to rebuild the offense so we can put some points on the board
Lewis – Well Jim…
Harbaugh – John
Lewis (now reaching into his jacket) – Jim, Jay, John it doesn’t fucking matter, you need to understand that nobody talks back to god’s linebacker
With that, Rex jumps up from the table and grabs Ray. I think I saw a blade, but Rex managed to get Ray calmed down and out of the Restaurant before anything else happened.
Rex – Jim
Harbaugh – John
Rex – you really have to watch what you say to Ray. He is a bit crazy.
Harbaugh – I’m sure that we’ll be able to work well together.
Rob – yeah, if you don’t get stabbed in the 1st team meeting.
Rex – yeah, welcome to Shaw Shank.
Harbaugh – I’m sure the inmates running the asylum aspect of Baltimore is overblown.
Rex – sure it is (lifts up shirt, revealing multiple scars from stab wounds).
Brick – so Jim
Harbaugh – John
Brick – yeah, so who are you targeting in the draft.
The front door flys open and Ed Reed dances for two minutes before coming over to our table.
Reed – Rex, I need more money.
Rex – You just got an extension
Reed – I am the best safety in football, and I need to up my home security, Ray found out where I live again.
Harbaugh – Edward, I think you need to recognize that this is a team game, and you will have to sacrifice some in order for the team to succeed.
Reed – Who the fuck are you?
Harbaugh - I’m John Harbaugh, your new head coach.
Reed – didn’t you play QB for the Colts?
Harbaugh – no that was my brother. I was QB coach for Phily.
Reed – never heard of you. But Jim…
Harbaugh – John
Reed – your name doesn’t matter, you had better recognize that I’m the best player on this team and Ray Ray can’t handle it. Unless you want me to end up like Sean Taylor you had better get me paid.
With that Ed Reed left the Steak and Shake.
Harbaugh – well this has been quite the eye opening experience. Well before we are interrupted again, I’ll let you know that I really like young Matt Ryan out of Boston College.
Rex – A QB (stands up and punches Harbaugh in the face) sorry about that, its sort of a family tradition. But a QB, how many QB’s is this team going to waste money and draft picks on.
Harbaugh (holding jaw) Well I need something to work with, otherwise your D is going to have to do it all again… I think I lost a tooth. It was nice meeting you gentalmen.
Rob gets up, punches Harbaugh in the face
Rob – nice meeting you Jim.
Harbaugh – John… nice meeting you too.
Harbaugh leaves the Steak and Shake.
Brick – So Rex, how do you feel about Ryan.
Rex – doesn’t matter to me, as long as we are healthy on D we should compete again. I can’t do anything about the offense.
Rob – He’s better than anything you have now.
Rex – Yeah, I guess so.
Romeo barges in the door.
Romeo – where is the sucka who was suppose to buy me lunch, I’m gonna kill that fool…Mmmmmmmm Milkshakes.
Brickinthebox mock draft:
1. Miami Dolphins – Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3. Atlanta Falcons – Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas
4. Oakland Raiders – Chris Long, DE, Virginia
5. KC Chiefs – Ryan Clady, OT, Boise St.
6. NY Jets - Vernon Gholston, DE/LB Ohio St.
7. NE Patriots – Dan Conner, LB, Penn St.
8. Baltimore Ravens – Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College
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