Monday, October 29, 2007

7 Things

I'm sure that all two people who visit this blog have been wonder why there hasn't been a post in almost a week. Well I'd tell you here but then I would have to come up with something else I've learned this week, so lets make it #1.

#1 - You shouldn't drop your laptop

Yep, I bought a new laptop when I moved to Pittsburgh. A pretty little macbook. Works great, until you accidental drop it all of 3'. Then the screen cracks and you can view all of 4 square inches of the screen. At least I could get it to shut down... yippee.

So now that I have a problem I finally read the fine print in the extended warranty that I bought and find that I'm not covered for damages from dropping the computer... fuckers.

I will give the guy at the Apple store some credit. When my wife, who knows nothing about computer hardware, took the laptop to the store to find out how much it cost. He pulled her aside and let her know that while it would cost ~$600 to repair there, he knew a website that would repair the laptop much cheaper. So the computer is taking a trip this week to a service place in California. If they repair it as quickly as they promise, I'll plug them here later. (There you go repair website, extra incentive to repair my computer quickly, get a free plug at an unread blog).

#2 - The whiteout is overrated.

Penn State's whiteout looks cool on TV. But it was no match for an actual team when Ohio St. came into town. I was looking forward to an actual good Big Ten match up and instead got another helping of the Ohio St. domination that has plagued me since Tressle came to The OSU.

So the question that now haunts me is "Do I participate in the White Out this weekend?" That's right, this weekend I'll be making the trip to Happy Valley to see the Penn St. Purdue match up. Should I wear white? Should I deck my wife out in white? Will she even listen to me when I suggest she wear white?

Chances are I'll buy myself an XXXXL white T shirt that will fit over my jacket so that I'll fit in and look cool on TV. Since the TV always seeks out celebrities like bloggers. But there is no way that I'll be sporting any Penn St. gear. I refuse to jump on local team bandwagons. Even when they have plenty of room, I don't think Penn State's bandwagon is in any danger of overflowing as they trudge through another season of mediocrity.

#3 - Naps rule

So I took another trip to the WV hunting grounds this weekend. In order to get there before sunrise the wife and I left the house at 3:30 am. So while she slept in the car there and back, I was wiped out by the time we got back home at 4 in the afternoon.

Now usually I would be glued to college football at 4 on a Saturday. And with Michigan trailing 10-0 when I turned on the TV, I thought that the nap was going to have to wait.

But the nap overruled all and I was blissfully sleeping on the couch by 5, despite the dogs best efforts to keep me awake by piling all of his toys on me. So two hours later I awoke refreshed and ready to watch the evening games.

If Michigan had lost I'd be pissed at the nap for causing me to be miss another disappointment. But in this case the Nap knew what it was doing by allowing me to watch Cocks vs. Tenn and the Cal game later that night.

Naps, you rule.

#4 - The people of Pittsburgh love Pumpkins

I'm a little kid when it comes to carving pumpkins. The wife thought it was a 1 time cute thing to do together when I showed up to her place when we were dating with two pumpkins to carve for Halloween. She was wrong (anyone who is married knows how reassuring it is to be able to say that about their wives at anytime).

But the people of Pitt burgh put me to shame when it comes to a love of pumpkins. We went to the Farmers market yesterday when it became apparent that nobody on the Redskins had the balls to blow out Brady's knee. When we got there I was amazed at the level of pumpkin worship on display. There were huge piles of pumpkins for kids to climb on as they looked for the best. There were hourly tours of the pumpkin patches. That's right, guided tours of pumpkin patches, tours you had to sign up for and would loose you spot on if you weren't in the proper spot when they started.

We got there late in the day, and there were announcements every five minutes updating everyone on how much time they had left to select their pumpkin (we will be closing in 1 hour, you have 55 minutes remaining to select you pumpkin and proceed to the cashier). As we were leaving car loads of Pittsburgh pumpkinites were being turned away as they wouldn't have time to properly pick their pumpkin prior to closing.

Pumpkins are like crack for Pittsburghers.

#5 - Rocky you let me down

I had high hopes for you Rock. I thought I'd be sending you a crisp 20 dollar bill. But you have let Joe Gibbs influence your play and make you classy. If anchorman has taught us anything, classy equals a whale's vagina.

Mr. McIntosh, you are a whale's vagina.

That leads me to turn my gaze to the proud Indianapolis D (there are two words I never thought I'd put together, proud and Indianapolis). Who on your team has the balls to break Tom. My problem here is that no team has played the Pats as often as the Colts in recent years. They play at least 5 times every year due to some quirk in the NFL schedule. I think ESPN is actually tired of covering this match up. I would wager to guess that ESPN only spends 55 minutes of each 1 hour sportscenter this week obsessing on the game of the century. That's a full 3 minutes less than the playoff game of the century last year.

That said, Tom hasn't gotten injured in any of the previous 67 match ups over the last 3 years. The Colts D just doesn't have what it takes to put the QB down for the count. So my weekly quest to find the best bet to take down Brady turns to Tony Dungy.

That's right the head coach of the Colts is a better bet to injure Tom Terrific than any of his players. Tony is a good christian, and since I've never read the bible (old or new testament) I'm going to have to go off what I've learned from TV. That God can be either vengeful or in the case of John Kitna can heal.

Since Tom Brady is not John Kitna, and Tony is a god fearing man, I'm calling on Tony to act as the hand of god and strike down the blight on society that is Tom Brady. Please don't misconstrue this as me claiming to know the will of God. But since Greg Easterbrook has opined that this is a battle of Good vs. Evil, of God fearing vs. Godless, I feel safe in assuming that God would be pleased to have Brady struck down before inseminating another actress.

Tony Dungy, its time to do Gods work.

#6 - The Pats aren't content to run up the score

We should have known that their was something sinister in New England when the Coors light train chose to start its run of chilling football fans in NE three years ago. (Those were definitely Patriot fans getting refreshed in that add that ran 20 times a game, they were all very very gay).

But the Pats have taken their love for the silver bullet to the next level. Witness exhibit "A"

There is no doubt in my mind that this is a picture of Mike Vrable anally raping the Redskins QB. Look at the shock on Jason Campbell's face. That doesn't come from fumbling, he does that all the time. That is from being violated by Vrable.

Lets delve deeper here. Boston is notorious for being racist. There is a reason they signed Wes Welker this offseason. Their receiving core was too black after loosing Tim Dwight. What other team has more than 1 white LB on the roster? Now when they get the chance to play a black QB who isn't named Lemon (he's a dolphin so he would have liked it) they proceed to not only penetrate the pocket, but penetrate the posterior.

That's right, not only are the Patriots classless, they are racist anal rapists. No wonder Stu Scott and ESPN love giving them verbal BJ's.

(On a side note, dear fleaflicker, why can't I pick up Vrable to play TE, he scores more TD's than the Raiders as a team)

#7 - Obligatory Raider stuff

The run D is improving... at a glacial pace. The Titans were able to rip off a number of runs yesterday. Including 3 in a row on an impressive Tenn/ disgusting Oakland drive for the Titan's loan TD. However the Raiders for most of the game were able to minimise the bleeding and not let the Titans get the run game fully on track. That's better than is has been, but not much.

The Offense is not improving, While the Oline will get much of the blame, somewhat deservedly, the play of Culpepper and the WR's doesn't help things. One of the changes I was looking forward to this year was that the QB's would be getting the ball out of their hands quickly. This was not the case yesterday. The WR's were not getting open on the quick drops, Culpepper was taking 3 seconds to set his feet on deeper drops, let alone pass the ball. That's no way to help a suspect line on the road against a damn fine D-line.

Barry Sims has nightmares about Tennessee. Barry has never been great against speed rushers. But something about playing in Tennessee causes him to loose all composure. His total false starts in the last two games the Raiders have played in Tennessee may equal his number of false starts the last 3 years.

Cut back OR counter to run against the Raiders. I've pointed out how susceptible the Raiders are to the cut-back run. But when you don't have a cut back runner (like Tenn) call the counter. The Raiders made Chris Henry look like a future probowler on the counter that gave up the lone TD of the game.

That's all I have the stomach to say about the Raiders this week. Once again they gave away a completely winnable game as Culpepper choked with a late INT and Williams bailed him out of choking again by dropping a ball on 4th down.

Well Look at that, I've learned 7 things again. Now to figure out a way to take a nap here at work.

1 comment:

McFluffin said...

If I can count to 7, I will let you know what I have learned this past week.

1. Halloween gets better with age. As a kid, I got candy, now as an overgrown kid, I get to stare at slutty women dressed as whores. D-Cups 1, Reeses Cups 0

2. If Boston College disappeared off this Earth, I would shed no tear. Seriously, watching the Hokies lose like that, while watching the Sox pull out a great win left me simultaneously screaming, cheering, cursing, and confusing the hell out of the crowd at a hotel bar I was in training at. I dont need help making people think I'm nuts, so f u BC.

3. Seven is a very ambitious number to reach for, I am not an ambitious man.